Since I feel kind of bad that I didn’t even bother watching last weekend’s SNL, I present to you Seth Meyers on the Late Show with David Letterman.
Ah, Seth, charming as ever. At least Palin got something right.
Because if 1960s Paul McCartney didn’t make you melt, you’re not human.
I wasn’t home this weekend to liveblog the SNL, and mayhaps I’ll try to do it sometime early this week. But I saw about four minutes of an awful Jekyll & Hyde sketch, so I’m not looking forward to it.
Instead I will leave you with this adorable (and old) seasonally relevant picture.
First things first, Julian Casablancas’ solo album, Phrazes for the Young came out this week, and amongst the amazingness is his cover of “I Wish it Was Christmas Today,” which is one of the better things to have happened on SNL in the last ten years. A clip that, sadly, because NBC is well-known for erasing it’s presence from YouTube, I can’t show you. But you CAN hear the song (and the album!) by clicking here.
Anywho, it was the song that Horatio sang with Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan and Tracy Morgan. It also spread to Easter and other holidays. I was fortunate enough to see it in person once (the Janet Jackson episode), and I almost died laughing.
Speaking of that episode and dying laughing: Remember the cork soakers sketch?
To the show! Taylor Swift is America’s sweetheart these days, so I guess it makes sense, but I never would have thought of her as someone who should Host/MG. Though with SNL being worse than awful these days, why not?
Also, OMG GUYS, I FOUND THE CHRISTMAS TODAY VIDEO! Don’t tell NBC!!! Considering Tracy’s recent comments about Chris Kattan (and Cheri O’Teri), it kind of makes that seem less cheerful.
Cold Open: We’re opening with Kristen Wiig as Greta van Susteren instead of an awful Fred as Barack impersonation, so already we’re up. Shep Smith is scary as hell. Even though this isn’t a Barack opening and that’s great, the intro to this sketch makes me think it’s going to be a very, very long and not so funny cold open. Obama is responsible for the death of Michael Jackson. Hee. Loving America is legal again! Thanks, Glenn Beck. I like this impersonation.
Monologue: Taylor Swift sure is tall. And wearing a really not cute dress. There is something oddly Demetri Martin-like in her delivery. She’s going to sing “The Monologue Song (La La)” She’s singing about things she’s not going to talk about in her monologue, like how she writes songs about ex-boyfriends. So, when is she going to bring up Joe Jonas? Oh, there she is. “Hey Joe, I’m doing really well.” Did she really just blow a kiss to Taylor Lautner in her monologue song? Ha. This is cutesy funny. This is like, Sonny With a Chance funny. And last time I checked, this was not the Disney channel. It was 11:30 on a Saturday. That’s okay! Because I enjoy both kinds of humour! Booyah! The suspect sketch looks more like T.I. then Kanye West. Hm. “We have a great show, Kanye West is not here.”
Carter N’ Sons BBQ: It’s important for everyone to know that this commercial was filmed in 2002 before the swine flu outbreak. Why? Because this is a commercial for Carter N’ Sons BBQ, where if you try their pulled pork, you’ll get SWINE FEVER! Swine fever IS NOT related to Swine Flu. It’s super contagious! Jason Sudeikis is all over this mother tonight. Don’t forget to try the Sausage and Ribs Combo! They recognize that this spells SARS. They regret the coincidence. Funniest commercial they’ve had all season.
The View: Taylor Swift is Kate Gosselin. “So what, who cares?” Nasim Pedrad is doing Barbara Walters. I like it. Gosselin also has a beautiful American hairstyle. There is a side view of the set right now, and Kristen (as Elizabeth Hasselbeck) is speaking directly to Kate Gosselin while not looking at her AT ALL, and maybe it’s part of the Hasselbeck impression that I just don’t understand as someone who has never seen an episode of the View, but if not, HOLY FUCK, KRISTEN, you’ve been on the show for a really long time now. GET USED TO CUE CARDS. (I recognize that I just wrote the longest sentence ever. Sorry.) I thought that the sketch was about to end, and instead they’re bringing out a guest. Andy Samberg as Nicolas Cage. And hey! Andy can do an impression!
Digital Short: This is very early in the ep for a digital short. It’s a movie trailer. And it’s mocking Twilight as Firelight. Twilight about Frankenstein. I would see this. Taylor Swift has the bad acting Kristen Stewart lip bite down pat. And now there are mummies! It would be awesome if that mummy were Taylor Lautner and not Andy Samberg. Oh well. I wish there was more of that.
Hollywood Dish Interview: Taylor is being interviewed by people with really exaggerated facial expressions. They nod like that so everyone knows their engaged and listening. Now they look frightened. Sight gags aplenty! Now they’re bringing up Kanye West and asking her to laugh more. Her crazy big fake laugh is scary. Bill Hader just spit taked all over Kristen Wiig’s face. That was fantastic. Spit takes are hilarious.
Next week January Jones with the Black Eyed Peas. As good as the Jon Hamm episode was last year, I think that January Jones is an extremely limited actress, and I’m not sure that I can handle watching her try to be funny for an hour and a half. And I DO NOT LIKE the Black Eyed Peas. Jones may pleasantly surprise me, though, as she was moderately funny in her Love, Actually cameo. Kind of.
T.R.A.A.A.P.D.: Oh yeah, I forgot about Abby Elliott. Taylor Swift is playing a gal named Samantha with a crazy retainer who wants everyone to know that teens who text while driving aren’t the only bad drivers. Teens Raising Awareness about Awful Parent Drivers is her organization. More Sudeikis and Wiig. They’re driving while giving the Birds and the Bees talk, racing to sweater sales at Nordstrom’s, arguing with the GPS, etc. Driving while having a sarcastic conversation with the car in front of you. Man, that’s me. All. the. time.
Taylor Swift “You Belong with Me”: I like this dress much more than her monologue dress. She can’t sing about how “She wears short skirts” when she’s wearing a short dress, can she? She is. Her voice isn’t as strong as I would expect. She’s singing very quietly, and it’s shaky. Lackluster, Taylor. Lackluster.
Weekend Update: Hi, Sethly. He just opened with perhaps my favorite WU joke this year. Let’s quote! “This week in a positive sign that the economy may be recovering, New Yorkers started buying big ticket items again, like elections and championships.” The health care reform bill passed the House vote. And.. Seth just said that. I’m glad that WU can break some news. I watched the vote. It made me feel all tingly inside. Nicholas Fehn! It’s been awhile.
Taylor Swift and SNL are trending right now on twitter. The teenies are mad!
hilsjonas Huh? RT @jonasnatasha Taylor Swift disses Kanye West and Joe Jonas ? And mocked Twilight ? What the fuck is going on with her ?
Teenies! Don’t curse!
Abby Elliott as Sarah McLachlan. Not shocking, as she played McLachlan in a sketch that was cut last year about the ASPCA commercials. And that’s exactly what they’re doing here. Reformat a sketch into an Update appearance. A woman has two vaginas and menstrual cycles? Oh geez.
OMG REALLY WITH SETH AND AMY OMG AMY WHAT AHHHHHHH.
I had stopped paying attention to read more Taylor Swift Twitter updates, so let’s rewind to find the premise. Ah, yes, the wonderful story of the CDC giving H1N1 vaccines to Goldman Sachs et al.
REALLY?! Are flu shots like bonuses now?
That wasn’t super funny, but it was still awesome. Ugh, I love them. Unabashedly.
Penelope: Oh God, not this character again. Why, why, why? Who would invite Penelope to a wedding? Will Forte, that is a crazy vest. Penelope has a salad bar in her car. It runs on blue cheese dressing. They keep saying really, and it’s distracting after “Really with Seth & Amy” just ended. The moon is made of honey! Swift’s Penelope impression was pretty on. She’s been really touch and go with the acting all night. But the sketches have been fairly amusing, and she’s not claiming to be an actress, so I’ll give her a pass.
Scared Straight: Ugh, ugh, ugh, another annoying recurring character. If Swift is not one of the kids, is she going to be a convict? Yes, yes, she is. She’s assisting Kenan’s McIntosh. And she has dreads. And lip gloss. Taylor Swift is so skinny. I just got really sleepy. I don’t think I can handle this right now. The movie plots he’s stealing tonight are Top Gun, Sound of Music and Back to the Future. How do you solve a problem like gonorrhea? Oh no, Bill is losing it. Bill always loses it in this sketch, doesn’t he? He has the best preventative face ever. It’s so hard to not laugh at Bill trying not to laugh. He instinctively goes to cover his mouth and realizes he cant do that, and it’s great. So great. 1.21 jizzawatts! Wow, now Jason is laughing. That came out of nowhere. And Bill is CRACKING UP.
Roommate: Nasim Pedrad is really close to her roommate. They don’t like to be apart for any period of time. It’s awkward. This sketch is so strange, and Taylor Swift has huge feet. Nasim Pedrad is kind of great. I hope she gets more to do. Cut some Kristen Wiig time.
Taylor Swift – “Untouchable”: Somebody just yelled “once again Taylor Swift!” even though the camera wasn’t on them at all and it seems like they weren’t ready. Was it Amy Poehler? Kind of sounded like her. Slow song. There are lit candles. I don’t like this song. Or her country prom dress.
Bunny Business: Bunnies with ambition! Randy Newman did the soundtrack, and now he’s singing the songs! Fred hasn’t been in the episode that much. Boo! Natalie Merchant. Randy Newman and Natalie Merchant. Old references for an episode that has played really, really young. Taylor Swift can do a pretty good Shakira. I’m impressed. She obviously can’t dance anything like her, though. Eddie Vedder and Christina Aguilera? Abby needs to stop singing. Seriously. Kenan as Jennifer Hudson. This is funnier than it should be.
Closing: This was the best episode of the season, which isn’t saying much. It played really young, which obviously makes sense given the host, but considering how genuinely awful the season has been, I want them to prove they can write sketches for adults again. Until then, impressing audiences with Disney Channel sketches doesn’t really fly. And not to sound too negative, because I actually did enjoy the episode. Taylor did a decent job. She was a much better host than musical guest. I hope that they can keep this up with January Jones. And maybe give Will Forte more to do.
Now I’ll go watch yesterday’s episode of White Collar. Anyone else think Matt Bomer is the poor man’s Jon Hamm?
Here’s the deal, bloggie buddies. I have satellite cable, and due to a pretty big storm last night, I am pretty much unable to liveblog the show. Normally the full episodes have been up on Hulu, but that hasn’t happened this week yet. So I’ll get through what I can, but then we’ll call the rest of it a bye week.
Cold Open: The third cold open in the last three weeks with Fred Armisen half-assing an Obama impression while staring at cue cards. After watching Armisen on Parks and Recreation this week, I remembered how funny he can be. So, what happened? Is he just giving up? Is he as tired of the crummy writing as I am this season? Obama is going to turn into The-ROCK Obama again, isn’t he? Yep. Which is fantastic, because sadly, the Rock does a better impression of Obama than Armisen does. My satellite is cutting out again, so I am not really getting much besides Hader barking and I think someone might have gotten thrown out of a window.
Okay, my sattelitte has jumped me ahead by like a half hour. Are Rob Schneider, Kevin Nealon and Harvey Keitel really on the show laughing hysterically? I am very confused. Can anyone who actually saw this explain what happened?
Shakira – She Wolf: Shakira has someone playing keytar. She’s also singing along to a backing track and belly dancing. There’s not much more to say about this.
Okay, there’s an “SNL Backstage” thing showing a clip from dress rehearsal where Bill Hader cracks up, so I’m assuming that this is what the Kevin Nealon/Rob Schneider thing was, no? I love it when Bill Hader laughs. Especially because he looks like he’s dying. And I’m proud of Andy and Shia LaBeouf for holding it in there.
Weekend Update: Olympia Snowe and Seth Meyers have the same nose.
Two gay guys from New Jersey who are in the military! Recurring Update characters that never get old to me.
The balloon from Colorado can talk. He’s crying to Seth. And that was a weird little bit. Fair enough.
Gerard Butler! Scottish. I saw an interview with him the other day which said that everyone in America pronounces his name wrong. Seth is translating everything for Gerard and I really enjoy Scotland. What a glorious country. Can I move their and watch SNL on satellite like the Butler family?
As much as Kristen can be over the top sometimes, I think this appearance on WU kind of proves how awesome she is. And I have officially laughed outloud at “Thank you for coming.” So much so that I will now link to the clip on Hulu.
I like these backstage clips. Because it kind of shows how awesome dress rehearsal can be. And why I always choose going to dress rehearsal instead of the live show.
The Spartans – Because no Gerard Butler SNL would be complete without a 300 reference. This is another gays in the military thing. Just wrapped up in the Spartan covering. Everyone in the army is gay, because don’t ask don’t tell was repealed. This is the first real sketch that I was able to see with my satellite problems and clunker city.
More dress rehearsal clips. This one with Will Ferrell, Sean Hayes and Jimmy Fallon laughing it up.
What Up With That?: James Franco! WTF. So hot. And unexpected. I need more James Franco and less unfunny singing. MOVE ON. Is it just me or is James Franco starting to look a little like Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Also, this whole sketch is going to be about Kenan singing and Jason Sudeikis doing the Rerun dance isn’t it?
I think that if Jason Sudeikis (and Will Forte later) weren’t going all out with the dancing, this wouldn’t have been even remotely funny. It’s a shame we don’t even get a chance to see James Franco dancing at the end because of the graphic. I saw him throw his arms up, so I’m sure it was amusing. Hader’s dance was.
Hey SNL, ever hear of humour?
New Secretary: We’ve reached the cottage cheese jokes part of the night. And it’s another Kristen Wiig recurring character that I could do with never seeing again. Gerard Butler kind of looks like a chipmunk right now. I’m confused. Also, why make Gerard Butler American? He clearly has issues with maintaining the accent, so why bother? Just let the man be Scottish. And oh, HA HA, HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT A PEN CAP WAS. HA HA HA SNL YOU SO FUNNY.
Shakira – “Did it Again”: I want to be a back-up drummer/dancer for Shakira. Is she still engaged to a prince or something? Wikipedia time! Okay, not a prince, the son of the old President of Argentina. And they’ve been engaged for 8 years. Also of note: Shakira is intensely interested in world history. She frequently studies the history and languages of the countries she visits. After her Oral Fixation tour ended in summer 2007, Shakira audited a class in Los Angeles at UCLA, on the History of Western Civilization. She used her middle and last names, Isabel Mebarak, and told the professor she was visiting from Colombia so as to avoid being recognized as a celebrity.
I love her.
Daveheart: Second sketch with Butler in charge of an army. At the very least, this one if pretty funny. I like it. “I can’t piss myself more than I already have.” What can of accent is Jenny Slate going for here? Apparently it’s French. But it’s awful.
Goodnights: Hello, kilt picture. James Franco really had a lot to do tonight. But he gets to stand there and smile next to Shakira and Gerry. Despite the hotness and Butler’s enthusiasm and v-neck sweater, this was not good.
So we’re going into reruns next week, thankfully, because the writers aren’t even trying anymore, and I can’t believe that anybody finds this to be 1) funny and 2) worthy of being shown to anyone. I’ve never been happier that my satellite decided not to work so that I can ignore this. Because even the hour that I was able to watch made me want to pull my hair out. I am not even seeing the possibility of a turnaround. Sigh.
Just a few more in a series of reasons why Jay Leno is ruining television, entertainment and basically, my entire life.
Southland, the awesomely “gritty and realistic” (honestly can’t be described without using those words, try looking it up) look at the LAPD was cancelled before it’s October 23 premiere. While it was already down in the doldrums over being a Friday 9PM show, it never made it. The show was deemed too dark to be a 9PM show. AND HEY GUESS WHAT? There is no 10pm slot on NBC.
Everybody was sad. Until now! Because TNT maybe might maybe pick the show up.
And in other NBC is stupid and lame news that doesn’t really have anything to do with Jay Leno but which I am going to blame on him anyways, the cast of Glee was going to be on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade this year. Talks broke down because NBC thought that it was just way too much promotion for a non-NBC show to air on a parade on their network.
Creator of Glee Ryan Murphy’s response? “I completely understand NBC’s position, and look forward to seeing a Jay Leno float.”
Get ‘em, tiger.
It’s another Saturday night, and I’m actually home to do this one live! Whee! I’m overworked lately, so I’m having a Saturday night in after some serious cleaning and laundry. Tomorrow I’ll be going to see Rock of Ages! as part of my October Broadway blitz which will also feature Bye Bye Birdie and Hamlet later this month.
Anyways, I didn’t do standby as previously considered, and it’s for the best because my lack of clean clothes had reached desperation mode. I’m looking forward to all of the GIRL COMEDY that this episode will bring. With the cast so small and the majority of the gals being newer, the sketches have been pretty seriously male dominated lately, and while Drew Barrymore is an attractive lady, they won’t all be about how hot she is as they were in the Megan Fox episode. And I think Regina Spektor is the cutest thing ever, even if I don’t think her music matches up to the hype. I LOVE a few of her songs, and I love that she has kept to her roots and always has Strokes related bands open for her, but overall, I think she’s kind of boring. Unpopular opinion, I know. But apparently I’m full of those these days (see the James Marsters post for tips on how to not speak neutrally about someone who has a huge cult following).
Cold Open: It’s a Barack Obama open, again, but considering Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize this week, it’s not surprising. In the wake of all of the press that the Obama has done nothing cold open received last week, I’m sure that this will knock him down a bit, too. I’m wrong, as this sketch is about him not being George Bush and winning the lottery. Okay, that was short and boring. Stop starting episodes with really short, really boring cold opens, dudes. It worries me about the caliber of the episode.
Monologue: Drew Barrymore seemingly cannot walk in her heels. She’s wearing a pretty unflattering dress and over enunciating everything. She’s showing clips of her family on Broadway, aka Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader doing impressions of Ethel and John Barrymore that are more like the over enunciating Drew. That’s the joke. Get it? It just keeps going on. Abby and Andy and Kenan and Drew almost tripped while bowing. We’re in trouble.
Gilly: As soon as Will Forte starting speaking, I knew that this was a Gilly sketch. A Gilly sketch is the opener. No, no, no! Since Drew isn’t the third child, I’m guessing there’s a twist here. As much as I hate this character, I do love the dance that Kristen does. Aw, the new foreign exchange student is Gigli, the Italian Gilly. It makes me a little sad that Forte has to wear a wig since he shaved off his beautiful man hair. Is it just me or is Abby Elliott really annoying? Gilly blew up Gigli. The end.
Next week is Gerard Butler and Shakira. Hottest episode ever.
Celebrity Ghost Stories: Billy Bob Thornton is credited as a lead singer instead of an actor. Ha. Nice reference to this moment. Abby Elliott is Anna Faris. I really do think that her impersonations are pretty good, but she overdoes them SO MUCH. It’s not good. Drew Barrymore is Sharon Osbourne. The ghosts that she’s seeing are actually Mexican cleaners. Justin Long is here as Matthew McConaughey. This follows the trend of a celebrity not being able to date a celebrity without their partner being on the show. I hear that Justin Long has a hilarious driver’s license photo. I cannot verify this, though.
Unfortunately, I don't think it's this crazy.
Nasim Pedrad impersonating Charlyne Yi (who I think most of the crowd doesn’t recognize at all) is the best thing in this sketch.
University of Westfield Online: The school is all about teaching you how to avoid telling people that you went to an online school. Okay.
La Rivista Della Televisione con Vinny Vedecci: Okay, now here’s a character that I love. Improve the episode! Do it! Drew looks very pretty in this sketch. And Will Forte is wearing a wig again. Why’d you have to go and shave off your hair, Will? Whyyyy? Et, E.T.! Et, E.T.! Et is good. Is good. Vinny Vedecci is trying to get Drew to show him her boobs, and that segues into the apologies to all of the women on his staff that he slept with. It’s probably because his wife looks like Bobby Moynihan with lipstick. I want someone to do my hair the way that Drew’s hair is now. Now they’re singing “Whip It” and this is the first funny thing that has happened tonight. Yes! I knew you would save it for me, Hader.
Regina Spektor – “Eet”: Okay, what on earth is Drew wearing to introduce Regina? See, I really do love Regina Spektor, but I can’t really listen to her music for any extended period of time without getting bored. It’s a paradox of life. Like naming a song Eet.
I first heard of Regina through the Strokes, and I decided that I loved her after seeing her MTV You Hear it First segment. Remember how groundbreaking those things were? They had them for Coldplay! And the Arctic Monkeys! Anyways, she was just as adorable then as she is now.
Weekend Update: Seth opened Update with three pretty strong zingers. Yes! James Carville is talking about Obama’s peace prize win. You can’t trust the Norwegians. They all look like John Denver.
Norwegians!
“[Rush Limbaugh should win] the Nobel Peace of Pie.”
Normally I get so tired of guests on Weekend Update, but this one is already pretty strong. It’s saving the episode a little bit.
I would totally play combined golf/rugby.
Scrooge McDuck! Is it sad that as soon as they said Scrooge I knew that it would be Andy? He looks a lot like a scarecrow with a duck bill, though.
Apparently TMZ reported that Maya Angelou was in the hospital and Twitter said she was dead? How’d I miss this? Like control top elastic, I am absolutely alive.
TMZ:
You muckraking muskrats
You sad, selfish slingers of celebrity cellulite
From Tom and Katie Cruise
To Heidi and Spencer
You spread your lies
Well, I hope you get cancer
I do not forgive you
But for your sake I hope ya
Watch what you say,
Because I am friends with Oprah.
It’s a good thing that you had Maya Angelou on, Dr. Seth Meyers.
Tampax to the Max Tournament of Champions: Hey, it’s a Jason Sudeikis appearance. Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink. Those are some names. Greta Milwaukee (Kristen Wiig) is playing “The Soft One” Nina Wilkes Booth (Drew Barrymore) in Championship Billiards. When you need just the facts, you can stop it with Tampax. Greg Stink the color commentator doesn’t know anything about billiards. Sounds like most color commentators. I am pretty awful at pool. Tampax, helping you relax when mother nature attacks your slacks. Add that to a list of things that I’m sure Jason Sudeikis never thought he would say. Oh, outlandishness.
Cooking Al Fresco with Fran & Phil: Guy Fieri is a guest who is going to rock out with his hock out. Cooking on a roof with bread crumbs in NYC is apparently not a good idea, unless you want to get attacked by birds. Birds LOVE marinara sauce. Andy yelling “They’re foodies!!!” is good stuff. The birds have kidnapped Guy Fieri, and the live audience is kind of sort of clapping. That did not go over too well… yet I kind of enjoyed it. There’s something wrong with me.
Larry King Live: So five of the sketches tonight have included television broadcasts. And I’m not including the Presidential address cold open. I would have to check back on some of the other recaps to see if this is commonplace, and I just haven’t noticed before, but holy crap, guys, find a new gimmick. This is the second talk show style sketch, though Larry King is obviously different from Vinny Vedecci. The topic on Larry King is sex scandals – how do successful men become entangled in these situations, and why are we so interested? Media analyst Carly Lane Drew Barrymore knows that men like to put their weiners inside something, and that is an accurate summation of what this entire sketch is about. America’s interest in weiners! I love to have conversations like “He did what with his weiner?”
Weiner print media is dying because of Perez Hilton!
Digital Short: Brenda and Shawn are crazy 80s party entertainers. They do simple magic at eye exams and engagements! I’m going to hire someone to do magic the next time I have a medical emergency. Jon Lutz appearance! No me gusta.
Regina Spektor – “The Calculation”: Cameras cut back late, so we just had Drew saying, “Spektor.” Unfortunately Regina isn’t playing “Fidelity” or “Us,” but I want her dress so badly. I like that they flipped the piano to face the other wall for the second song. It makes me laugh. We need different angles for this song!
Debbie Turner Appearance: Debbie Turner is doing an author appearance from her book “Living With the Devil” at a Barnes and Noble. She read her entire book to the crowd. And they have SO MANY QUESTIONS! The devil in question from the book is there to ask her a question. And he looks like an 80s hair band rock star making an appearance in 2009. And he’s speaking like one, with sharks making love to fish around his toes and such. He’s going to kill a bunch of people with bayonets because they don’t deserve healthcare and getting rid of his bayonets will get Debbie back. But the whole crowd is super into his hotness and the fact that he uses toilet paper now. He’s quoting Usher and Debbie is going to take him back, because if there’s one thing that turns a woman on, it’s saying “make love in this club in this club” over and over.
Credits: Drew Barrymore thanks Regina Spektor and Justin Long and says that Kristen Wiig (who is wearing a crazy dress for some reason?) is wonderful in Whip It! which further dampens the episode for me. She loves Lorne and Marci, and Seth is standing almost hilariously off to the side. Watching the cast reactions to what Drew is saying is kind of funny. Jason seems very confused that Drew is talking about Kristen but smiles when she finishes the sentence. As does Abby. Bill just kind of stands there. Bobby looks like a five year old. All in all, this was an unbelievably disappointing episode. And while I know that most people rag on SNL week to week, generally I love the show. And this season I don’t. This season is losing me hard and fast. If it doesn’t get better soon, I’m not sure how many more liveblogs I can handle doing. Anybody else feel the same way? Think I’m totally wrong? Let me know!
As I watched one of my newer favorite shows, Lie to Me, last night, something dawned on me around minute 46 or so. That older prosecutor who is vaguely reminding me of Wayne Jarvis is JAMES MARSTERS?
I mean, SPIKE FROM BUFFY. The Californian with the spotless British accent and the bleached hair and the was actually way, way older than the rest of the cast (sans Giles) during filming has finally started to look his age. He’s 47. Those cheekbones have filled in a bit. And prosecutors don’t bleach their hair.
Oh, James.
In other news, everyone should be watching Lie to Me. Because it’s enjoyable and wonderful and Tim Roth is amazing.
We are a wee bit delayed with this bloggerino. Some of you may or may not be aware, but I work two jobs. Last night I had to scan tickets at an event that can only be described as a rave for half-naked teenagers. I haven’t seen so many glow sticks or lollipops in my life. So when I crawled home at 3:20, I didn’t feel like putting the DVR in action.
I’m here now, anxiously awaiting the new Mad Men and cleaning stuff up as per usual on a Sunday. What are my pre-show thoughts? Ryan Reynolds is funny. He’s funny in a way that handsome people shouldn’t be allowed to be. And Lady Gaga is Lady Gaga. Some people love her. I think she’s pretty brilliant at getting people’s attention, but I’d be okay with her disappearing off the landscape, too. Should at least be entertaining.
Cold Open: I feel like they’re trying less and less hard with Fred’s Barack now. The make-up used to be much more. The voice used to be much more. Now it just looks like a tan Fred (they don’t even give him a fake mole!) who sounds a lot like Fred with more of a cadence. LAZY. Fred might as well be holding index cards in his hands with that level of cue card reading. Again, LAZY. However, this should answer that “Will people make fun of Barack?” question posed after he was elected. Obama’s done nothing. I like the way this sketch went, even though it was telegraphed pretty easily and Armisen didn’t even bother trying to do an Obama impression. Nice start.
Monologue: He’s so handsome and tall and married to Scarlett Johansson. Reynolds is comparing the similarities between superhero movies and romantic comedies. He’s a natural. He really, really is. “If there’s one thing kids love, it’s lanterns.” So far the episode is subdued, but amusing.
Mostly Garbage Dog Food: Sudeikis is running and snuggling with dogs. This is my dream come true. Feed your dogs mostly garbage! He’s a dog! Again, not rolling on the floor hilarious, but entertaining. How many times am I going to say this tonight?
Celebrity Family Feud: The Osmond family versus the Phillips family. This is an amazing concept. The pure family versus the drugged out and HELL YES RICHARD DAWSON. I hope Sudeikis makes out with everyone the way that Richard Dawson actually would. He has his posture down at least. “Things you keep for a long time.” John Philips “Secrets!” HA. I love it already. But I’m a GSN freak. Family Feud doesn’t work this way, fools. Old school references “Monday, Monday” and “One Day at a Time.” Dawson’s a Drunky McDrunkerson. Celebrity Press Your Luck with Roman Polanski. Yes!
Digital Short: It’s a song. Samberg is rapping about energy drinks. Hey, this was filmed by my office. Lincoln Center Farmer’s Market! Every Thursday! So good. Andy Samberg is throwing everything on the ground. He’s an adult! Hey, Elijah Wood! He’s tasering Andy Samberg with Ryan Reynolds. We’re already a million times better than last week.
Porcelain Fountains: Fred is advertising porcelain fountains. And there’s Scarlett Johansson. Because you can’t be married to a celebrity and be on SNL without your spouse. Has she ever hosted before? I can’t remember. But she’s also pretty natural. If it hadn’t been for the little cuts of people’s lives being made better by porcelain fountains inside of their homes, I’d call this sketch a failure. As it is, I’ll call it a wash.
Deephouse Dish: It’s been awhile since they’ve done this… thankfully. Lady Gaga’s going to show up in this, isn’t she? Annoying, annoying, annoying, and now Lady Gaga and Madonna. Now, maybe I shouldn’t comment on the ass of a 50 year old, but if she’s going to be showing it off, no, just no. Why are you even here Madonna? Go away. What is the point of this? Stop. Just stop. Just make it stop. You can pretty much see Madonna’s vagina at this point. Is this a dream come true for Kenan?
Lady Gaga – “Paparazzi”: At least they gave her enough time to change into her fire outfit. So is Lady Gaga going to be the number one Halloween costume this year or what? Who is her choreographer? I am in a weird state of entertained and bored all at once. Which is kind of what Lady Gaga seems to be, too. She is doing her dance moves, but does she even give a fuck at all? Now she’s playing keytar and grinding, and I’m about as done with this as she is at this point. She kind of gave up on singing, too. But at least some dude is sniffing her hair. Also, notable, there was an uncensored “shit.” An uncensored really loud “Shit.” Like she kind of got bored and sort of stopped singing except to sing quietly, but you get to the part where she curses and she practically screams it. Okay, Lady Gaga. However, I’m confused by FCC regulations. I’ve been watching Skins on BBC America, and they censor any use of the word “fuck,” but they don’t censor “Shit.” Please explain, someone. Also explain why anyone who knows there’s a curse in that show wouldn’t be ready to censor that (yes, there aren’t usually censors that late at night, but knowing the slip-up last week and that there was a curse in the song). Not that I care. Say whatever you want when you want. I know I do.
My favorite shot of Seth ever.
Weekend Update: And not a moment too soon. Celisse and I were disappointed that Chicago wasn’t pick, too. RIO IS SO MUCH FURTHER THAN CHICAGO. Stupid human trick joke! More Roman Polanski jokes. This was covered on Weekend Update Thursday. But it allows for Darrell to be on the show even if he’s no longer in the credits.
Best quote ever. Ready? Okay! “I am also a great fan of Roman Polanski and his movies. I like the Pianist and the Chinatown and the Rosemary’s Baby and all of those films. But at no point when I was watching these films did I think, ‘These films are so good! I would be okay if the director of these films had sex with a thirteen year old girl!’”
I’m sad that didn’t get more applause. Sigh.
Seth Meyers killed off Eeyore!! He also just made an ARod joke and posted this response on Twitter: Okay, A-Rod. I zinged you last night and today you had a 2 HR, 7 RBI inning. I get it. You are very good at baseball.
I don’t know why Seth’s Twitter brings me such joy, but it does, it does.
After thirty minutes of Update about three days ago, this edition is entirely too long. Charles Barkley and Mr & Mrs Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Enough.
So You Committed a Crime and You Think You Can Dance: Kevin Federline hosts this TruTV show. Judged by Nathan Lane, Nancy Grace and Phil Spector. Abby Elliott’s Nancy Grace is AWFUL. And I don’t know why they’d even have her do it, considering Amy did a spot-on Nancy. It’s bad to have something so recent to compare it to. Reynolds’ dancing and Australian accent are making me laugh. As is Forte’s creepy prisoner. Though Forte always wins as a creepy prisoner. And Nasim’s uncomfortable dancing is making me laugh. I thought Owen Schector was going to be Bernie Madoff. And Fred’s dancing is making me think of Larry David for some reason. Who is playing the cop? Anyone know? Was he the Nuts For Nuts vendor in the Digital short, too? HA! Fred’s dancing while handcuffed to Sudeikis is great. No, really, this is great.
There’s something weirdly charming about Samberg’s portrayal of Kevin Federline, especially when he smiles. What the hell? Why am I charmed? This was my favorite sketch of the night.
International Masterworks: Everybody in this sketch is foreign speaking like an American, and their accents are the joke. It’s funny, but I can’t describe it and give it any justice. Fred and Kristen are owning this. Everybody is rooting for the Pittsburgh Pirates, and I am finding this hilarious even if the live crowd isn’t. My finger is firmly off the pulse, apparently.
Lady Gaga “Love Games”: She is wearing something weird, which is nothing new, but I don’t even know what is going on here. Her outfit is spinning around her. Actually, I want to wear this. But does wearing a weird dress, showing off your ass and singing really make for a great performance? Now she is slowly attempting to sit so that she can play piano in her weird dress, and she waves to the crowd and everyone cheers because again, me and America are on different wavelengths. She says, “Hello SNL” and takes off her sunglasses, and honestly, she sounds good, but I’m missing something. Okay, she’s improving and doing a medley, and I’m kind of impressed now. Did she just shout-out the Gray’s Papaya on 72nd or just a street meat vendor? She ended it all by singing, “New York, it’s Saturday night!” I almost wish she had played this completely straight instead of giant metal dress-ing the beginning. Like, she has the talent, no one has denied that, but she overshadows it herself. And that’s when I (and I can’t be the only one) lose interest. There’s room for being weird and avant garde and outside of the box, but prove to me WHY I should pay attention, and you’ll get me. And good for her for recognizing that, because she pretty much got me there. If you’re interested, the LA Times wrote all about her performance.
Bubble Dress: Lady Gaga is in another sketch, this time wearing a bubble dress and reading her own issue of Rolling Stone. Andy’s wearing his own bubble dress, too. They try to kiss in the bubble dress, and oh, funny sight gags.
Sketch ends with Kristen and Lorne being upset that they can’t wear their bubble dresses to the after party. Lorne’s wearing a bubble tie. Ryan Reynolds is a non-factor, kind of sadly as he has been the whole episode.
Credits: Lady Gaga and Andy are onstage in the bubble outfits, though I don’t think they would’ve been able to change even if they wanted to. Ryan thanks the incredible Scarlett Johansson, aww. They high fived, too, which is kind of precious. Reynolds didn’t have much to work with at all, the meatier roles went to the cast, but he held his own. He would make a great cast member if he weren’t already a superhero and all. This is a vast improvement over last week. Still a little weak, but I didn’t find myself checking my watch or anything.
Next week is Drew Barrymore and Regina Spektor, and I may or may not try to do standby. Who’s with me, America?!
This marks the first Weekend Update Thursday without Amy Poehler, should be interesting to see how things shape up. As much as I love Amy, I’m not too disappointed. As anyone who reads this blog will know, I am a pretty unabashed Seth Meyers fan. We’re also coming after a really, really bad season premiere.. so let’s step it up, guys.
Jumping right in, just as the episode is. No opening sketch, no “live from New York!” just Seth. Who starts it off with a Palin joke and an adorable little swine flu related baseball joke. Follow Meyers on Twitter. You’ll get a lot of adorable little baseball jokes.
Moving on! We’re going to talk about Roman Polanski. A story that I cannot stand. And it would be awesome if Seth did a “Really?!” here, but he’s not. Instead we’re joined by “it’s not rape rape” Whoopi Goldberg (Kenan) and Joy Behar (Fred). This is about on par with a “Really?!” They’re playing stupid.
Jason Sudeikis is a colleague of pilot Sullenberger, and he’s dressed as a pilot with a moustache, and it’s hot. I’m sorry. It’s hot.
“What did the good pilot do when he saw a flock of geese? He avoided them. Yeah, then he continued on to Charlotte where he made it seven minutes early.”
I bought some Diet Pepsi, and it tastes pretty gross even though it isn’t expired. What do I do?
The jokes aren’t bad, but I didn’t sign up for a primetime show of one-liners. FlashForward is on, Seth!
Suze Orman is out, and I am a fan of Kristen’s Suze impression, but I want more. Though true to it’s name, it is pretty much an extended Weekend Update. Does this effect the jokes for Saturday? I wonder.
More guests time! Except now it’s Bill Hader and Darrell Hammond as John Malkovich and Dennis Franz respectively, and it makes me happy to see Darrell on the premises. They’re on to discuss the push for 2016 Olympics in Chicago. I can barely listen to what they’re saying because I spend so much time being amazed at how GOOD Bill and Darrell are. And aw! A cut to Maya Rudolph as Oprah. Oprah is giving out Olympic gold medals to everyone in the crowd.
Does the fact that this is Weekend Update make it okay to have five minute commercial breaks? Damn, NBC.
Cremains come in a plastic box. Someone should tell Seth that. For real. A plastic bag inside of a weird tin.
Hall & Oates! Yes! Fred Armisen is back with Will Forte. I hope everyone is clapping along at home to the beat. Because that was obviously the best part of the show. And I will have “Private Eyes” stuck in my head FOREVER.
The show is over, Seth is wearing the Darryl Hall wig, and unfortunately Sudeikis is no longer dressed like a pilot. So much sexiness taken away from me! The thirty minutes went by pretty fast, though that may be because this is DVRed and I fast forwarded through the twenty minutes of commercial breaks. Not as strong as the first and second episodes, but an enjoyable little filler of a show.
