I guess I promised you hotties. I GUESS.

Oh God. This is SO SO SO late, but I’ve made up for it by looking up SO MANY TONS AND TONS AND TONS OF PHOTOS. So hopefully you’ll forgive me and keep loving me and we can keep having these illicit blog affairs nightly ok? OK.

[Also, not gonna lie, I'm pretty sure Kim was gonna beat my ass if I postponed this crap any longer. DON'T HURT ME, KIM. PLEASE.]

I’m going to start this thing with the following photo, BECAUSE IT SERIOUSLY MAKES ME SMILE SO HARD:

Milky's lookin GOOFY while Sully is lookin downright sexy.

More more TONS more under the cut.

I’m gonna try to keep these as organized as possible. But since in general I am not a very organized person, we’ll see how well that pans out, ok? ON WE GO.

Sup, Ricky Berens?

Okay so, Remember last Olympics when the ONLY photo we could find of Ryan Lochte was that really awful hair one? And then over the next four years he became this INCREDIBLY HOT AMAZINGLY GORGEOUS SWIMMING COMMANDO? Since these are the ONLY TWO decent swimmery photos of cutiepie Ricky Berens I can find all by himself, I predict he’s gonna be the Ryan Lochte of 2012. BACK OFF, BITCHES. I’M LAYING MY CLAIM RIGHT NOW.

Sup, Cabbage? (Milorad Cavic)

cuuuute

OH MY GOD, GUYS. We need to talk about Eamon Sullivan’s Torso again, okay? We just do. Because it is holy. omggggg:

weird moobs.

ughhhhhhh so cute I LOVE THEM BOTH.

And this wouldnt be a hottie post without some HOTTIE RELAY APPRECIATION:

Can we talk about how Aaron is SLAPPING MILKY's BOOB??? And Hansen is like BITCH CELISSE I TOLD YOU I'D DO IT. NOW HOP ON THIS, RIGHT NOW.

thanks for ruining the picture, VANDERKAAY. Also, hello, this photo (minus vanderkaay's squishface) is totally my iPhone background right now. REPREZENT.

Dont they so remind you of Saul and Dale from Pineapple express? Except super hot and not stoners (......lochte..........)

and Peirsol, for good measure, cos I LOVE HIM.

——

On to Gymnastics because oof. Those boys are, like, collectively an average height of 5’4, and I’m 5’7 [and a half!!] and I’m pretty sure Kim is like 6’3 or something so they are TINY, but oh so hot.

Justin Spring never has a shirt on, THANK GOD.

He needs a tan.

Weird.

This photo of Kevin Tan makes me LAUGH SO HARD, even though I shouldn't cos obviously his shoulders must hurt pretty bad at that point.

Can we please talk about Jonathan Horton now? Kim is slightly in love with him and I pretty much want to be his best friend ever. He is ADORABLE and so gracious and hey, at 5’1, he’s pretty much boob-height so that’s awesome.

Look at his SERIOUS FACE.

The passing of the torch. Of course, I guess the torch kinda downgraded from gold to silver on the way down, but WHATEVER I LOVE THEM.

Someone was a LITTLE hot for Fabien Hambuechen.

Can I tell you how fun I think Fabien Hambuechen is? Aside from being cute, I loved how he kinda screwed up his routine (on the bars? I already don’t remember), and comes back pretty much CRYING. That is, until, he found out that he managed to get Bronze in the competition, and then walks up to Horton and is like “YAH YAH WUNDEBAR I’LL SEE YOU IN 4 YEARS YAH?” Haaahahahaha. That pretty much decided my LOOOOVE for him, right there.

But. BUT. No one can top my Male Gymnast love for Alexander Artemev. He looks like a helicopter on the pommel horse and his dad is an ASTRONAUT. A FRIGGEN ASTRONAUT!!!!:

Oh Sasha.

He thought the medal was my face, obviously.

His curly lil feet freak me out. BUT HELLO, MISPLACED BULGE.

So short. So cute.

——-

OKAY. Running is next. I’m actually not really hot for runners, but I decided to be DIVERSE. Bah.

I SERIOUSLY LOVE DAYRON ROBLES AND HIS COOL GLASSES SERIOUSLY.

So he's not hot. Who cares? He has COOL ASS GLASSES. And, oh yeah, a GOLD MEDAL too!

And can we just talk about how amazingly fantastic this photo is? Please?

Guys, I’m really conflicted about Jeremy Wariner. He’s hot, but NOT REALLY, and he seems like kind of a DICK? Anyone else agree? Either way, I can’t seem to stop lookin’ at him. Something about him makes me wanna rarrrrr. SHRUG.

Sup, Jeremy Wariner?

Weird.

THE DAVIDS (Payne and Oliver) are cute.

——-

DIVING DIVING DIVING HOTTIES OMGGGGGG

Hi, David Boudia. This is a weird picture and you are but a wee 19 years old but I still want to get doooooown.

On the right, with his Synchro partner, Thomas Finchum.

Torsoooo

On my last hottie post someone was all OMG OMG OGM OMGOM OMG OMG OMG POST ALEXANDRE DESPATIE OMG OMG OGM ALEXANDRE DESPATIE HE IS SO HOT OMG OMG OMG OMG and it was actually REALLY annoying, but whatever, as it turns out, he really is hot:

HI, BULGY???? I mean.... Great form. YEAH. Great form.

Matthew Mitcham is seriously adorable.

Also this photo of him makes me laugh A LOT.

Thomas Finchum is 18. I will save my comments about his FORM until 2012.

——–

Eamon Sullivan's Torsoooooooo.

I’M GOING TO SLEEP GOODNIGHT INTERNET.