SO KIM EMAILED ME THE GREATEST PICTURE I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

OH MY GOD THIS MAKES ME GIDDY.

Seriously, people. You all know my intense love for Ryan Lochte, but you probably don’t know my INTENSE LOVE FOR JAY-Z. It’s not a lusty wanna bone all the time love like it is for Lochte, but seriously I WANT TO BE JAY-Z’s BEST FRIEND. I LOVE THAT MAN. So seeing this picture of them together literally made me scream out of pure joy. I keep looking it and smiling this big stupid grin like I’m about to go catatonic or something. SO MUCH JOY. Look at them! LOOK AT THOSE SMILES! Oh God. I can’t handle it.

HEAVY MEDAL

Jay-Z tries on a little gold – courtesy of U.S. Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte – at the U.N. Global Leadership Awards Gala Wednesday in New York. The music mogul was recognized for his work to bring clean water to young people in Africa. [via]

Oh God. Best photo ever. And speaking of hottie pants:

Sorry, ladies! Olympic hunk Ryan Lochte isn’t looking for love.

“Having a girlfriend right now would be out of the question,” he told PEOPLE at the U.N. Global Leadership Awards Gala in New York Wednesday. “I would like to settle down and have a family. But I’m only 24. Definitely not any time soon!”

What’s keeping the sexy swimmer out of the dating pool?

Since winning his two gold medals (and two bronzes) in Beijing, “I haven’t had a lot of time,” he explained. “I’ve been traveling all over. I’ve only been at my house for two days.” [via]

See, I read that, and can totally see the subtext. The subtext which is saying: “I’m waiting for Celisse Wordpower to meet me in my bedroom at OlyVil 2012, wearing nothing but a Jay-Z tee shirt and a smile.” Oh, Ryan. I will be there. I will so be there.

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In completely unrelated news, the VP DEBATE IS TONIGHTTTT AT 9PM EST. I’ll be watching on friggen CNN this time so I can see all those cool tickers that I missed out on last week. I will also be drinking MASS AMOUNTS OF BEER, AND LIVEBLOGGING THE CRAP OUT OF IT so that should be totally hot. Check back here after the debate to see if I’m at all coherent, k? GREAT.