The SNL Live Blog: Ryan Reynolds & Lady Gaga!
We are a wee bit delayed with this bloggerino. Some of you may or may not be aware, but I work two jobs. Last night I had to scan tickets at an event that can only be described as a rave for half-naked teenagers. I haven’t seen so many glow sticks or lollipops in my life. So when I crawled home at 3:20, I didn’t feel like putting the DVR in action.
I’m here now, anxiously awaiting the new Mad Men and cleaning stuff up as per usual on a Sunday. What are my pre-show thoughts? Ryan Reynolds is funny. He’s funny in a way that handsome people shouldn’t be allowed to be. And Lady Gaga is Lady Gaga. Some people love her. I think she’s pretty brilliant at getting people’s attention, but I’d be okay with her disappearing off the landscape, too. Should at least be entertaining.
Cold Open: I feel like they’re trying less and less hard with Fred’s Barack now. The make-up used to be much more. The voice used to be much more. Now it just looks like a tan Fred (they don’t even give him a fake mole!) who sounds a lot like Fred with more of a cadence. LAZY. Fred might as well be holding index cards in his hands with that level of cue card reading. Again, LAZY. However, this should answer that “Will people make fun of Barack?” question posed after he was elected. Obama’s done nothing. I like the way this sketch went, even though it was telegraphed pretty easily and Armisen didn’t even bother trying to do an Obama impression. Nice start.
Monologue: He’s so handsome and tall and married to Scarlett Johansson. Reynolds is comparing the similarities between superhero movies and romantic comedies. He’s a natural. He really, really is. “If there’s one thing kids love, it’s lanterns.” So far the episode is subdued, but amusing.
Mostly Garbage Dog Food: Sudeikis is running and snuggling with dogs. This is my dream come true. Feed your dogs mostly garbage! He’s a dog! Again, not rolling on the floor hilarious, but entertaining. How many times am I going to say this tonight?
Celebrity Family Feud: The Osmond family versus the Phillips family. This is an amazing concept. The pure family versus the drugged out and HELL YES RICHARD DAWSON. I hope Sudeikis makes out with everyone the way that Richard Dawson actually would. He has his posture down at least. “Things you keep for a long time.” John Philips “Secrets!” HA. I love it already. But I’m a GSN freak. Family Feud doesn’t work this way, fools. Old school references “Monday, Monday” and “One Day at a Time.” Dawson’s a Drunky McDrunkerson. Celebrity Press Your Luck with Roman Polanski. Yes!
Digital Short: It’s a song. Samberg is rapping about energy drinks. Hey, this was filmed by my office. Lincoln Center Farmer’s Market! Every Thursday! So good. Andy Samberg is throwing everything on the ground. He’s an adult! Hey, Elijah Wood! He’s tasering Andy Samberg with Ryan Reynolds. We’re already a million times better than last week.
Porcelain Fountains: Fred is advertising porcelain fountains. And there’s Scarlett Johansson. Because you can’t be married to a celebrity and be on SNL without your spouse. Has she ever hosted before? I can’t remember. But she’s also pretty natural. If it hadn’t been for the little cuts of people’s lives being made better by porcelain fountains inside of their homes, I’d call this sketch a failure. As it is, I’ll call it a wash.
Deephouse Dish: It’s been awhile since they’ve done this… thankfully. Lady Gaga’s going to show up in this, isn’t she? Annoying, annoying, annoying, and now Lady Gaga and Madonna. Now, maybe I shouldn’t comment on the ass of a 50 year old, but if she’s going to be showing it off, no, just no. Why are you even here Madonna? Go away. What is the point of this? Stop. Just stop. Just make it stop. You can pretty much see Madonna’s vagina at this point. Is this a dream come true for Kenan?
Lady Gaga – “Paparazzi”: At least they gave her enough time to change into her fire outfit. So is Lady Gaga going to be the number one Halloween costume this year or what? Who is her choreographer? I am in a weird state of entertained and bored all at once. Which is kind of what Lady Gaga seems to be, too. She is doing her dance moves, but does she even give a fuck at all? Now she’s playing keytar and grinding, and I’m about as done with this as she is at this point. She kind of gave up on singing, too. But at least some dude is sniffing her hair. Also, notable, there was an uncensored “shit.” An uncensored really loud “Shit.” Like she kind of got bored and sort of stopped singing except to sing quietly, but you get to the part where she curses and she practically screams it. Okay, Lady Gaga. However, I’m confused by FCC regulations. I’ve been watching Skins on BBC America, and they censor any use of the word “fuck,” but they don’t censor “Shit.” Please explain, someone. Also explain why anyone who knows there’s a curse in that show wouldn’t be ready to censor that (yes, there aren’t usually censors that late at night, but knowing the slip-up last week and that there was a curse in the song). Not that I care. Say whatever you want when you want. I know I do.
Weekend Update: And not a moment too soon. Celisse and I were disappointed that Chicago wasn’t pick, too. RIO IS SO MUCH FURTHER THAN CHICAGO. Stupid human trick joke! More Roman Polanski jokes. This was covered on Weekend Update Thursday. But it allows for Darrell to be on the show even if he’s no longer in the credits.
Best quote ever. Ready? Okay! “I am also a great fan of Roman Polanski and his movies. I like the Pianist and the Chinatown and the Rosemary’s Baby and all of those films. But at no point when I was watching these films did I think, ‘These films are so good! I would be okay if the director of these films had sex with a thirteen year old girl!’”
I’m sad that didn’t get more applause. Sigh.
Seth Meyers killed off Eeyore!! He also just made an ARod joke and posted this response on Twitter: Okay, A-Rod. I zinged you last night and today you had a 2 HR, 7 RBI inning. I get it. You are very good at baseball.
I don’t know why Seth’s Twitter brings me such joy, but it does, it does.
After thirty minutes of Update about three days ago, this edition is entirely too long. Charles Barkley and Mr & Mrs Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Enough.
So You Committed a Crime and You Think You Can Dance: Kevin Federline hosts this TruTV show. Judged by Nathan Lane, Nancy Grace and Phil Spector. Abby Elliott’s Nancy Grace is AWFUL. And I don’t know why they’d even have her do it, considering Amy did a spot-on Nancy. It’s bad to have something so recent to compare it to. Reynolds’ dancing and Australian accent are making me laugh. As is Forte’s creepy prisoner. Though Forte always wins as a creepy prisoner. And Nasim’s uncomfortable dancing is making me laugh. I thought Owen Schector was going to be Bernie Madoff. And Fred’s dancing is making me think of Larry David for some reason. Who is playing the cop? Anyone know? Was he the Nuts For Nuts vendor in the Digital short, too? HA! Fred’s dancing while handcuffed to Sudeikis is great. No, really, this is great.
There’s something weirdly charming about Samberg’s portrayal of Kevin Federline, especially when he smiles. What the hell? Why am I charmed? This was my favorite sketch of the night.
International Masterworks: Everybody in this sketch is foreign speaking like an American, and their accents are the joke. It’s funny, but I can’t describe it and give it any justice. Fred and Kristen are owning this. Everybody is rooting for the Pittsburgh Pirates, and I am finding this hilarious even if the live crowd isn’t. My finger is firmly off the pulse, apparently.
Lady Gaga “Love Games”: She is wearing something weird, which is nothing new, but I don’t even know what is going on here. Her outfit is spinning around her. Actually, I want to wear this. But does wearing a weird dress, showing off your ass and singing really make for a great performance? Now she is slowly attempting to sit so that she can play piano in her weird dress, and she waves to the crowd and everyone cheers because again, me and America are on different wavelengths. She says, “Hello SNL” and takes off her sunglasses, and honestly, she sounds good, but I’m missing something. Okay, she’s improving and doing a medley, and I’m kind of impressed now. Did she just shout-out the Gray’s Papaya on 72nd or just a street meat vendor? She ended it all by singing, “New York, it’s Saturday night!” I almost wish she had played this completely straight instead of giant metal dress-ing the beginning. Like, she has the talent, no one has denied that, but she overshadows it herself. And that’s when I (and I can’t be the only one) lose interest. There’s room for being weird and avant garde and outside of the box, but prove to me WHY I should pay attention, and you’ll get me. And good for her for recognizing that, because she pretty much got me there. If you’re interested, the LA Times wrote all about her performance.
Bubble Dress: Lady Gaga is in another sketch, this time wearing a bubble dress and reading her own issue of Rolling Stone. Andy’s wearing his own bubble dress, too. They try to kiss in the bubble dress, and oh, funny sight gags.
Sketch ends with Kristen and Lorne being upset that they can’t wear their bubble dresses to the after party. Lorne’s wearing a bubble tie. Ryan Reynolds is a non-factor, kind of sadly as he has been the whole episode.
Credits: Lady Gaga and Andy are onstage in the bubble outfits, though I don’t think they would’ve been able to change even if they wanted to. Ryan thanks the incredible Scarlett Johansson, aww. They high fived, too, which is kind of precious. Reynolds didn’t have much to work with at all, the meatier roles went to the cast, but he held his own. He would make a great cast member if he weren’t already a superhero and all. This is a vast improvement over last week. Still a little weak, but I didn’t find myself checking my watch or anything.
Next week is Drew Barrymore and Regina Spektor, and I may or may not try to do standby. Who’s with me, America?!