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The ‘you know how I do’ INSTANT Josh Brolin SNL review

October 19, 2008

Let’s place bets. When is Governor Palin appearing? Cold open? If they were smart, they would delay it as long as possible for the ratings.

The Sarah Palin Fan Club.

The Sarah Palin Fan Club.

Seems likely that it will be the cold open, as Jason Sudeikis is stepping up to introduce the Sarah Palin press conference. Nope, Tina Fey. Ok, now I’m placing bets that Sarah Palin will appear as Tina Fey. Will Forte looks really bizarre. What’s going on with his skin color? Hey, real Sarah Palin. MARK WAHLBERG. OMG, the Mark Wahlberg cameo is way more exciting than the Palin one. Hey, Alec Baldwin. He thinks Sarah Palin is Tina Fey. Ha. ha. ha. Why is there a llama in the background? Why is Sarah Palin better with cue cards than Baldwin? “What? The real one?” So the audience is cheering a lot because I’m assuming that this is the first time they’re seeing her in person. And she could’ve done the “Live from New York” line with much more enthusiasm.

I’m so upset Marky Mark did not say “Say hi to your mother for me.”

This was a weird messed up free for all, like Michael Phelps’ monologue, only made better by the wonderfulness of Mark Wahlberg.

Hey, Josh Brolin. I know two things about you – your mother in law is Barbra Streisand. You can do a George W. Bush impression. Impress me.

Monologue: Goonies never say die! They like Texas and sports. Like me. Only I don’t like women. And I should be President. So this is just going to be a Bush bashing monologue. I’m not disapproving, but there could be more than Impressions 101 from Josh Brolin. I mean, really, I’d rather see this from Darrell Hammond or something. Does anyone remember how great Will Ferrell’s Bush impression was? Fantastic. Oliver Stone? When did this become random cameo fest?

MacGruber: Oh, dear. All of the cameos and a beginning with MacGruber spells bad news bears. I might as well stop watching….. now.

Overexcited Sue at Dinner: Wow, Will Forte really is tan. And wow, excited lady is now a recurring sketch? And WOW, Bill Hader’s hair is starting to make him look like a chipmunk. Amy Poehler is pretty tan, too. Maybe it’s the lighting. Brolin looks like plastic. So, since this is a recurring theme, why haven’t all of Sue’s friends learned that she can’t handle surprises? Ok, Kristen rolling around with the mat is hilarious. $20 says she bursts through the paper wall or something. They are all so underdressed for this dinner. …And I was right. She burst through the paper wall.

MacGruber: I honestly didn’t bother paying attention.

Suze Orman Show: So this is going to be the Kristen Wiig episode. Much like Anna Faris was the Kenan episode. I love Josh Brolin’s hair. I don’t love his lack of nipples. Any Suze Orman sketch goes like this – talk about a jacket, talk about lesbianism, talk about cats.

Mark Wahlberg: This is amazing. Although I knew that he was going to appear from behind that fridge door. Oh, I love this. “You were in the Goonies right? I produce Entourage.” HAHAHAHA. HEY DONKEY. Oh my God. I am dying. Dy.ing.

Say hi to your mother for me. I don’t know why this is so funny. It’s retread all the way, but Mark manages to pull it off. He should host SNL. Make it happen.

I’m no Angel: Amy Poehler’s feathered hair is great. As is her pregnant dancing belly. Dancing pregnant ladies in bars. Always funny. If they’re Amy Poehler, and she’s really super pregnant and about to have the funniest baby ever.

Celisse (12:04:50 AM): will forte looks like spencer pratt with long hair

MacGruber: Hairy Will Forte legs.

Adele – “Chasing Pavements”: She’s so darned precious. And I want her outfit for my Halloween costume. Why are her fingernails so long? It reminds me of everytime that I’ve been to a salon and they’ve told me, “You want fake nails? Fake nails good. You get fake nails,” and I reluctantly give in because it’s so much pressure for me to say no. Adele is a precious 20 year old English girl.

Weekend Update: Seth Meyers kind of looks like a pencil. Maureen McCormick talked about anal sex on Howard Stern the other day. What is it with the celebs and the anal sex stories lately? Okay, granted, the Anne Hathaway story was fake. Still. Tim Calhoun!!! My fave! I hate baby dentists, too, Tim Calhoun. The ARod/Jeter divorce settlement will be HUGE. I love the French Def Jam comedian, too! My two fave Update guests. En-cre-ah-blay. Jam on, my brotha. All that and a bag of pommes frites. I’m going to start using that.

Sarah Palin again. Is she going to say anything worthwhile? Amy Poehler is rapping. This is amazing. AMY, DON’T LEAVE. Drill, baby, drillah! Sarah Palin is GROOVIN. Oh God, this is amazing. Unfortunately amazing. Seriously, if you’re missing this episode and just reading the recap, go find this on hulu immediately. The last three days, all I’ve wanted to do is dance with Seth Meyers. He slow danced Thursday night. Tonight he rocks the house. Subtle SNL gag – Sarah Palin just closed with Tina Fey’s old Update closing line – “Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.” I’ve missed that line so.

Old men in a conference: This was cut from the James Franco episode I went to. That is about as bad as this episode is turning out (minus Update and Marky Mark). I still have, “When I say Obama, you say Ayers” stuck in my head. It was way different, though. They never said the word fartface, and they’ve said it around 42 times so far. The gag in the other sketch was “Carol, hold my calls.” I think Will Forte just really wants to play old men all of the time.

Narc School: Wow, undercover narc officers should know a little more about drugs. I really have no idea what’s going on with Will Forte’s skin tone in this episode.

ReadiTrade.com: I have to say, Casey Wilson is beautiful. And we’re in a seller’s market. But nobody’s around to buy. The website eventually takes you to one of the amazing Dan Aykroyd selling sketches of the 70s. The Bassomatic!!

New York Underground: Two sketches with someone named Dick or Dix. Is there no digital short tonight, or is this it? I didn’t see it come back from commercial. Fred hearts singing. And this was pointless, too. Bah.

Adele – “Cold Shoulder”: I think I’m in love with Adele. She’s workin’ it. And this song makes me think of my life right now. Awesome. I want to write a depressing dancy song and perform it on SNL in a shiny dress. Again, she’s only 20. Oh, her little jump afterwards. Precious!

Fall Foliage: Josh Brolin should read my autumn playlist. I never speak of buttery golds, though. I will go on this field trip with you, Josh Brolin. Your employees just don’t understand. Especially Andy Samberg and his Aaron Eckhart hair. His little plaid vest is so autumn. Hey! I noticed it, Brolin. I’ll eat your soup. Poor Kenan, he got raped. Nicely. Huh.

Closing: They have 27 cameos to thank, including, but not limited to Sarah Palin, Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin. All in all, very subpar episode. Josh Brolin was a decent enough host, but he had little material to work with. SNL needs to retire MacGruber like, last season ago. And stop making recurring characters out of barely funny things. I’m shocked that Sarah Palin stayed until the end. And that she’s WEARING HOT MAMA BOOTS. Wow. Oh, apparently she’s been wearing them lately.

Anyways, aside from the free for all confusing opener, the Sarah Palin rap, the Mark Wahlberg cameo and Adele’s preciousness, this episode was awful. Fortunately all of the goodness was spread out enough to make it bearable. I hope they can give the wonderful Jon Hamm something to work with next weekend. I’d love to do standby for the episode, but with Coldplay I can put that dream to bed right now.

“Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.”

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