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The INSTANT Jon Hamm/Coldplay SNL Review!

October 26, 2008

I am officially thrilled about this episode of SNL. Now, hot on the heels of the hot mess that was the Josh Brolin episode, I should be expecting nothing. Except I love Jon Hamm. And I love Coldplay. Like, love love love a lot. Both of them. And for the purposes of all of this, I’ll probably only refer to Jon Hamm as Don Draper. Because that’s who he is.

I recognize that most people won’t know who he is, and in fact, I’m going to guess that’s what half of his monologue is about. But maybe SNL won’t go the conventional route and just ignore that fact. Anyways, if you’re not watching Mad Men (and most of you probably aren’t), you should be now. And you can all worship at the sad altar of the Draper family and my beloved Joan Holloway. And many, many other great characters.

I also hope that Coldplay plays “Violet Hill,” because I would love nothing more than for them to rock out. And I wonder if Gwyneth Paltrow is there. Or if she’s too busy counseling Madonna. Or just too busy talking to the press about counseling Madonna.

Cold Open – I need Joe Biden. Celisse wants you all to know that she doesn’t want to go to Spain. Don’t send her to Spain, crazy Joe Biden! I just like watching the faces of the cast and random extras in the back. Especially the blonde lady that is biting her lip and trying so hard not to laugh. This was a bizarre cold open. Although it is nice to see them make fun of the Democrats for once.

I’m fairly certain that Don Pardo isn’t doing the intros tonight. I’m not sure who it would be, maybe Forte or Darrell? There’s something too clean about this. Hm.

Monologue – Jon Hamm, you are so freaking dapper. And so much younger looking and with floppier hair than Don Draper. And here we go, with the “I don’t know what Mad Men is?” monologue. Yes, I knew it was coming. Mad Men is a cutthroat elimination dancing show? Okay, actually this is hilarious. “It’s pretty late in the episode, you guys.” That was a really short monologue, but it kind of showcased good things to me. And when I say good things, I mean, he effectively read cue cards and was funny. And mentioned baseball. Which, by the way, the Rays are still losing 2-1 right now. I don’t like it. Though Chase Utley should definitely guess on Mad Men.

Side bar: I’m going to go ahead and predict that Paul Rudd is going to host the next live episode. Because he’s amazing and that Role Models movie is about to come out.

Halloween: Will Forte! He’s doing something! In the first sketch! How exciting. Just give him some candy, Bob Peterson. Sex offender. Why didn’t I think of that costume? Also, you’re the bitch, bitch. There’s a strange breeze going through the SNL set tonight.

SNL Digital Short: This is very early in the episode for the digital short. Angela Lansbury with dreads is great. Way to make fun of the silly white dudes with dreads, Andy. But eh.

Mad Men: People in the crowd are going nuts. Hey! Elisabeth Moss!! It’s sad how quickly I recognized who is being pLAYED OMG RJOHN SLATTERY. I love him so much. Wow, what a way to bring back the two A-holes. Elisabeth Moss is currently on Broadway in Speed-the-Plow, which I saw last week. It’s pretty great. But she must be exhausted. Do play. Run to NBC for a Mad Men sketch. Apparently everyone in the crowd watches the show. Hey, it’s the beautiful Don Draper pitch. The a-holes are going to crap all over it. Will Forte does a great Pete Campbell. And Harry Crane has run out of the room in tears.

Hey, I was wrong. Next week is Ben Affleck. Who would’ve ever guessed that?

Obama 08: OMG IT’S MAYA RUDOLPH. SNL has seriously been running on cameos this season. There’s been three this episode already. Barack Obama variety half hour. Yes! I hope Fred does some bad Barack dancing. This is actually super hilarious if only because at my office we speculated that Barack’s TV time would be a Halloween special since it’s on 10/29. I still love Kristen Wiig’s Pelosi. Bill Clinton singing “Don’t You Forget About Me” is genius. Joe Biden with his foot in his mouth. Man. Silly gags get me everytime.

Celisse (11:59:27 PM): why is the nbc logo on that side? its freaking me out

Barack meeting the spirit of JFK. Hey, go Jon Hamm! Doing a JFK impression. Nice. Joe Biden even dances like a crazy. I wish they actually had a variety hour on Wednesday.

Don Draper’s Guide to Picking up Women: All he needs to do is look at them. Whoa, step one was exactly that. “There was a man with bright shiny shoes. I saw him dancing.” This scene is eerily reminiscent of the Tom Brady sketch about sexual harrassment. Particularly with Fred playing the nerd. That was awesome. Man, this episode is pinging every funny bone in my body. Although I don’t have any idea how I would feel if I didn’t watch Mad Men.

Coldplay – “Viva La Vida” – COLDPLAY!!!! Man, they’re rocking out and bouncing and all wearing that stupid jacket. Okay, not all of them. But why is Chris Martin on the floor? I never think this about anybody, but I feel like there is such a limitation with stage size for Coldplay. They’re too big for this stage. There’s too much going on. Chris Martin needs to run around all over the place and be awesome and man, so much love. He’s going to leave the stage, I can feel it. Viva La Vida is probably my favorite album of the year thus far. That might not be true. It’s all irrelevant, because they are just freaking rocking out right now. Especially Will Champion. Yep, there he went, off the stage. And he’s back on the floor.

Love.

Chris Martin is having the damn time of his life right now.

So am I.

If by “time of my life” I mean laying in bed and liveblogging a musical performance by a band that I really like and laughing.

Weekend Update: So I had a weird feeling since Amy Poehler wasn’t in any earlier sketches that she might be having her baby, and holy shit, she fucking is. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Kim (12:14:22 AM): omg
Kim (12:14:25 AM): did amy poehler have her baby
Kim (12:14:27 AM): OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Celisse (12:14:31 AM): GASP
Celisse (12:14:48 AM): *blog freaks out*

That’s how I feel about that. Apparently also this was in the news before the episode started, but I was too busy working and watching Pushing Daisies (marry me, Lee Pace). In fact, I am totally not paying attention to anything Seth Meyers is saying right now. But now I am. You ride solo, Seth Meyers. Do yo’ thang, boyo!

Will Forte is in so much of this episode. It makes me happy. He is making me so sad for Robocall, though. I wonder how long it takes to get that silver face paint off. Will Forte be around through the rest of the episode? Ha, I said “Will Forte.” Forte definitely has a second career as a weird subway performer. I’m proud of Seth Meyers and his fast talking off of a cue card about Greenspan. I wonder if he’s super sad that he’s not in the hospital with Amy and Will Arnett. And oh man, “he was caught dead in that outfit.” Nice. I’m actually surprised this isn’t the real Ralph Nader. Shockingly enough, there is no BoneYourAge.com. SNL really missed the boat on this one. Maybe try it tomorrow. Nicholas Fehn. Not usually funny. Tonight, kind of funny. I kind of miss Ferecito, but I’m glad that they don’t do it anymore.

Celisse (12:22:48 AM): wtf is this hahaha
Celisse (12:22:57 AM): fred armisen is the king of wtf

I wonder how much of this is improvised.

Maya and Kenan are singing for Amy Poehler. This is amazing. I’m so sad. In an amazing way. I mean, obvs I’m never going to meet Amy Poehler’s baby. And I’m super happy for her and Will Arnett, and she was RAPPING SEVEN DAYS AGO WHILE ABOUT TO BURST, but she’s made it pretty clear that she was going to leave SNL soon, and now she’s having her baby so she’s pretty much gone. And I already waxed philosophically about how sad I am to see this era of SNL end, so I’ll just move on and say, Congratulations to Amy Poehler and Will Arnett!

Vincent Price Halloween Special: Bill Hader breaks out the Vincent Price every once in awhile. Always good. Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm are killin’ it. Fred Armisen’s Liberace. Excellent. Black and white is so bizarre in HD. I feel like Jon Hamm should be wearing a red velvet robe right now. I really feel like watching Sunset Blvd now. Thanks, Kristen.

And here’s some info about SNL and Amy Poehler. Thanks, TV Guide. And every fake American’s favorite website, Gawker, has a bit of a Poehler retrospective. Aw.

Jon Hamm’s John Ham – He’s cue card reading pretty hard right now. But that’s okay, because this is fascinating. Boar’s Head! Yes! There’s something so disgustingly seductive about this sketch. And I’m sorry that I’ve even said that. “Feel like a dummy yet?” Jon Hamm’s mustard soap? Oh God, a pun about mustard tasting great on Ham(m). Yes, JonHammsjohnham.Hamm.ham.com takes you to a website. It’s ham.com, believe it or not. I think this is my favorite episode of the season. And there’s still more Coldplay to come! Chris Martin, why are you so precious?

Coldplay – “Lost!” – Damn, they’re not playing “Violet Hill.” That’s okay. As long as Jay-Z doesn’t randomly show up for the “Lost+” version they have. That’s a total lie, I absolutely want Jay-Z to show up. Here, listen for yourself. It’s pointless, but it’s Jigga and Coldplay. They have about 923 versions of this song, don’t they? I accept them all. Chris Martin and I are both bouncing along to the song. He’s a little bouncier, though. We are also both singing and hitting keys. His are piano. Mine have letters on them. He’s like a five year old child with ADD.

Pat Finger: Butts, New York. Put a Finger in Butts. What a randomly funny thing to do. Lick Crack in Butts. This is funny. In such a random juvenile way. Jon Hamm does stern, passionate and concerned so well. I love it. Poor Pat Deldeaux.

Closing: More Coldplay? AWESOME. I knew this was coming. I figured they’d play another song after the closing credits that SNL would put up on Hulu, but this is even better. OMG! Yellow!!! This song almost made the Autumn Playlist, but it got removed for various reasons. It’s so autumnal. Especially with the wonderful fall downpour we had in NYC today. I wish I was friends with Chris Martin. I bet we’d skip down the street holding hands for no reason. Just because it was fun and carefree and I feel mildly rejuvenated right now. He’s pretty much putting on an aerobics clinic with guitar right now, and it’s making me so dang happy. “Barack Obama.” Thank you, Coldplay. And hey, they said they were going to do one more. But we won’t get to see it. Please put it on the hulu, NBC. Apparently they closed the show by playing “Lovers in Japan.” With some cool ass lights behind them that we don’t even get to see.

I am so very happy that this episode lived up to my expectations. My ridiculously high for no reason expectations. Jon Hamm, you win. And I can’t wait until the shocking (I’m sure) season two finale of Mad Men tomorrow night. And John Slattery is totally my old man crush times a million.

In closing, I’m going to go listen to Viva La Vida now. And congratulations once more to Amy Poehler, who apparently gave birth to a baby boy named Archie Arnett. We’ll miss you on the show. We already do.

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