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The INSTANT Hugh Laurie/Kanye West review!

December 14, 2008

This household loves Hugh Laurie. And I love Kanye West. To a certain extent. And I’m still sick, so let’s make this a good one, okay?

Blagojevich on C-SPAN: For the purposes of this blog, we will only refer to him as BLAGOJEVICH! BLAGOJEVICH! is being played by Jason Sudeikis. There is a dude behind Darrell Hammond (as Chris Dodd) that looks just like Seth Meyers. Well, maybe not just like him. But similar enough. You can see the little lines of wig skin on Bobby Moynihan. Oh, HD. I don’t know enough about what BLAGOJEVICH! sounds like to know if Sudeikis is doing a good impression, but I think he sounds great anyways. This is a decent cold open, what with the BLAGOJEVICH! cursing and the corruption in Illinois jokes and with all of the great castmembers being included (though Fred isn’t in it). I hope he curses in the Live from New York. I hope Will Forte and Jason Sudeikis are in every sketch. “And yes, I am mildly developmentally challenged.” BLAGOJEVICH! BLAGOJEVICH! BLAGOJEVICH!

BLAGOJEVICH!

BLAGOJEVICH!

Monologue: I want Hugh Laurie’s plaid jacket. Or Hugh Laurie. Did he just call me sweet cheeks? This is the last show of 2008. Man, I’m going to miss this. Mildly. His monologue is tanking a little bit. Dickens jokes don’t go over well with the American audiences, I guess. He just gave used chapstick to a random member of the audience. I can hear my roommate in the other room saying, “Oh my God,” which means that Hugh Laurie is about to sing. The medley was pretty funny, but everything else was long and boring and drawn out. So take that as you will.

Bronx Beat: Woohoo! They were supposed to do this the weekend that Amy Poehler had her little Archie Arnett. My roommate just yelled, “Wow! Amy Poehler actually has boobs.” Epstein-Barr? That’s pretty awful. Hi, Amy. Hi, Maya. We loves you. Osama bin Snowglobe. That was a good one. Recession jokes, recession jokes, blah blah blah. But they’re good ones. Rake Hero. I’m buying that video game. Hugh Laurie is balding. A balding butcher with an accent. It’s so sexy. Say some words. Say it in British. This is like that scene in Love Actually where all of the Wisconsin chicks (including Betty Draper!) get Colin Frissell to say British things like table. Sounds the same. “I wish we had accents.” Ha! Jeffrey Billings Butcher Shoppe. Hugh Laurie is laughing. Amy and Maya are having way too much fun with this. And it’s great. Flirtin’s free. Live it up.

Christmas dinner: Yay, Will Forte and Jason Sudeikis! Aw, it’s the sassy Christmas family. Sounds like a good time. Will Forte’s hair line is freaking me out. There’s no point to this sketch. Except Hugh Laurie just yelled and it was awesome. And now he is showing off his seriously bald head and singing Christmas carols again. Sudeikis is laughing. But he’s going to sing, and we all know that I am weak to the Sudeikis singing voice. JUDITH, SIT DOWN.

Next week is a replay of Josh Brolin and the adorable Adele. Which is good, because I will be Christmas partying.

Culhane Wedding: Sudeikis! Again! Where’s Fred? I am still not entirely sure what I think of Michaela Watkins. Did Hugh Laurie just stuff a handkerchief in his pocket? Oh, there’s Fred Armisen. In his 80s Wedding Singer get up. Sudeikis is the saving grace in this sketch with his pacing. Okay, and Bobby Moynihan just had easily his funniest SNL moment. And here’s Will Forte to ensure that he and Sudeikis are in every sketch (excluding Bronx Beat..) Oh, Sudeikis. You and your angry dimple. And twitching.

So.. Valkyrie is coming out Christmas Day. I wonder how many people are going to want to see a movie about a failed attempt on Hitler’s life on Christmas Day. I… don’t know who plans these things. Watch it do well, though. I suppose it’s plausible. I’ll be eating turkey and opening presents and drinking cocoa and thinking happier thoughts. And if I were going to see a movie, it would be The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. And not just because they are playing that Love, Actually song in it. (Side bar: That’s Love, Actually reference number two tonight.)

Kanye West – “Love Lockdown”: He missed a word. He has autotune and he’s still missing words. Kanye is the only person I can deal with using autotune. And that’s just because this song is so damned hauntingly beautiful. Thanks a ton, Kanye. PS. With the lights the way they are, I would not have guessed that his outfit was that color. Okay, he missed another word, so now I think it’s intentional. Where are the drummers? This is a pretty cool set-up to put on that SNL stage. And he’s dancing. Not as cool as that time him and Jamie Foxx did their thing on the Grammys. That was some dancin.

Kanye sounds like he has a cold. But he is rocking the hell out. Rock out, Kanye. Rock out. (Even though this sounds awful).

Weekend Update: BLAGOJEVICH! jokes. I didn’t call in gay to work. I don’t have any paid sick days left. 😦
BLAGOJEVICH! jokes (part 2). Fred Armisen as David Paterson. They’re overdoing the blind thing a bit. SNL is apparently not better than blind jokes. Like anybody outside of NY really knows much about Patterson’s blindness. Or finds it hilarious. Though I do enjoy the New Jersey jokes. Okay, that one made me laugh.

“What do you have against New Jersey?”
“Unfortunately, a southern border.”

David Paterson keeps walking into the shot and crapping on New Jersey. Hee. This is such localized comedy for a national TV show.

BLAGOJEVICH! jokes (pt. 3). Really with Seth and Amy! Woo! I feel like these segments highlight everything that I love about Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers. Really. That made me so happy.

AWWWW NO. Amy’s saying it’s her last show. And she’s going to cry. And Fred is interrupting, and now that is a way to break the tension. I’m so happy that Amy got the chance to come back and say goodbye. Since she had the baby and left earlier than she planned, so she ended up coming back and doing two more. And now she can say her tearful goodbye, and have it broken up by Fred Armisen. That’s how I would want to go out, too. Especially followed by a massive, massive Seth Meyers hug. Oh, Amy. I loves you.

City Nick: Musical lamp sketch! Why is Sudeikis not in this? I guess because Andy needs to be in some things, I guess. So I’ve just realized that Michaela Watkins kind of reminds me of Miriam Tolan. Miriam is fabulous, so I suppose I love Michaela. The singing, dancing lamps are going to murder the owners. “This is what’s happening!” Why does that seem like a line in a movie? I’m sure that if I googled that I wouldn’t find anything, though. Sweet, Forte made it in this sketch! Only to be shot twenty seconds later. Damn. Lamps! Coming soon to Broadway. Hm, last week they had a Broadway sketch, too.

Cat Christmas Litter: Kristen’s cat voice is going to drive me crazy. Purrrrrrr-sonal with seven R’s. Christmas letter from a dead cat. Ghostwriting from a ghost cat. That line didn’t get as much laughter as some of the creepier cat language lines. This whole show has been truly bizarre. But that’s okay, because I have a very abstract taste in humour and art. Maybe not so much in music. But definitely in humour. And art.

Digital Short: Forte and Sudeikis! Sudeikis’ foreheard wrinkles have been in full effect this episode. Fred should probably just pull the cookies closer to him. Hey, Kenan! I forgot he was on this show. Hm. They’re not cookies. They’re stool softeners. Uh-oh.. Yes! Go for it, Sudeikis! I spent the last week making “Jizz in my pants” jokes. This digital short isn’t worthy of that. But it’s okay.

Kanye West – “Heartless”: That shot of him was pretty gorgeous, not going to lie. I really do love the set and the dancing and the Kanye. Damnit, 808s and Heartbreak. I wanted to hate you. But I just can’t. Oh, spastic leg dancing. Sometimes I come home and dance like this around my apartment. Kanye should come over and jam with me. We’ll both be idiots. It’ll be awesome. He should’ve done this song first. I’m pretty sure most people would’ve seen “Love Lockdown” and be all bleh and gone to sleep after Update. And this is much better. And now he’s being all solemn in front of clouds. This set is sort of like this weird exhibit they have at the MoMA right now. This was good. Real good.

And it’s 12:59! We’re short for time, guys!!! No!

Closing: Weirdest episode of the year. But I enjoyed it. Because I’m weird. And reveal things like the fact that I dance spastically around my apartment. Lots of singing and dancing and Forte and Sudeikis and Amy Poehler almost crying. Sigh. SNL. You are a compilation of happy weirdness, and I enjoy you. Aw, the camera is focusing on Amy and her cute dress. Kanye ran up there late. Hugh Laurie didn’t know he was on. And Seth Meyers took off his shoe and held it up for everyone to see. Why? Is it because Amy is leaving so he is losing a foot? I don’t understand. But the cast looks so cozy tonight.

That’s all by ways of SNL liveblogging until sometime in January, guys. So you know, happy holidays. I’ll find something else to blog about, I’m sure. Or else. Now I will go dance to the Supremes CD that I bought tonight. Because I am on an oldies kick. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.

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