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The boys of the NYPD Choir were singin’ Galway Bay…

December 26, 2008

Oh my LORD it has been about 19 years since either Kim or I has posted. I apologize profusely, as I’m sure all of our MANY, MANY MANY (7) readers have been ACHING for news.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, friends and lovers. As I type this, Christmas is coming to a close here in Miami, and although it is a few hours late (more like weeks late, since that’s when I was supposed to write this), I’m going to take this time to talk about CHRISTMAS MOVIES, because..

Hello, my name is Celisse Wordpower. I’m addicted to Christmas Movies. I DON’T EVEN CARE.

A few weeks ago, Kim directed me to an article on TWOP about The Most Overrated Christmas Movies. I was horrified by the list. HORRIFIED!! The list included such classics as The Santa Clause and Home Alone, and worst of all, LOVE ACTUALLY. WHAT? I’m here to OFFER A REBUTTAL.

REBUTTAL NUMBER 1: DID ANYONE ORDER ME A PLAIN CHEESE?! — Home Alone

Guys, come on. This movie is a Christmas staple, and I’m actually really upset because I did not see it even ONCE this holiday season. What the hell is that? It’s one of the most quotable and endearing holiday movies. TWOP argues that it’s way too hammy, which, yeah, it is. But that doesn’t take away from the hilarity of Fuller getting smooshed between a wall and a chair during the PIZZA DEBACLE:

REBUTTAL NUMBER 2: To me, you are perfect — Love Actually

Oh, if ever there was a movie to make me want to move to England even more than I already do. (Okay, everything makes me want to move to England. Shut up.) TWOP says that there’s way too much going on in this movie. Quantity over quality and all that. I say EFF YOU, TWOP, YOU KNOW NOTHING. Yes, there are a LOT of stories in this movie, but JEEZ, MAN. It’s CHRISTMAS. I could do with seeing 2347829 stories about cute British people IN LUUUUUV. It’s one of the few RomComs that warms my cockles without actually making me DIE OF LONELINESS. So good on that. Also, HELLO, HUGH GRANT:

BONUS CLIP: The WISCONSIN GIRLS. I don’t know why exactly this makes me laugh really hard, but it always does:

REBUTTAL NUMBER 3: Merry Christmas. Shitter was full! National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

I totally do not care what anyone says about this movie or this series. I must admit, Vegas Vacation is my favorite, but Christmas Vacation is a CLOSE second. Between fried cats, angry neighbors, attack squirrels, and flaming grandparents, this movie has it all. TWOP makes some ridiculous argument about how the film doesn’t hold up because of Chevy Chase’s face. To that I say FEH. What does that even mean? I personally don’t have a problem with Chevy Chase’s face. I LOVE THIS MOVIE.

My friend Tiffany said it best:

I know I’ve had too much cold medicine when I start to get all sad during National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s just that Clark is trying so hard and keeps failing… besides the wanting to cheat on his wife thing, he’s a totally good guy and doesn’t deserve that.

AGREED, TIFF. He’s just a guy whos trying to do right by his family for Christmas. COME ON. Also, this will forever be ingrained in the museum of hilarity in my brain:

REBUTTAL NUMBER 4: We’re your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude.– The Santa Clause

(I really just like saying reBUTTal.)

Okay, WHAT? REALLY? All three of the previous movies were considered overrated by TWOP’s standards, but they weren’t considered BAD movies. The review for The Santa Clause, however, was SCATHING. Again: WHAT? I mean, for me, this is a friggen classic. TWOP argues that it makes no sense. WHAT CHRISTMAS MOVIE MAKES SENSE? Elf doesn’t make a bit of sense either but it’s still FRIGGEN AMAZING (and trust me, I will FLIP if I ever see that movie on an OVERRATED list. BEWARE).

The Santa Clause is a staple, okay? Just like Home Alone. It’s cheesy and FANTASTICAL and wonderous. Tim Allen is kind of a doofus but who cares on Christmas? I DON’T.

Okay, this next clip isn’t really about the movie as much as it is a FAN VIDEO ABOUT BERNARD THE ELF, BECAUSE IT IS MAKING ME DIE LAUGHING RIGHT NOW HOLY BUTTS:

Merry Christmas, Bernard lovers. Wowwwww.

Honorable Christmas Mentions which may not be considered overrated but still deserve to be thrown into any Christmas movie list:

  • Elf: Mentioned it earlier. Honestly one of my favorite Christmas moves EVER, and I’m not even a huge Will Ferrell fan.
  • Rent: Do I even have to explain why? It’s not about Christmas, but it’s about AWESOME so I don’t care.
  • A Christmas Story: Seriously. TBS does their 24 hours of a Christmas Story thing every year, and I have it on the ENTIRE DAY while we do presents and cook and have all our Christmas fun. It is the ultimate Christmas classic. I was in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes after dinner, and my mom was in her room watching the end of the movie and all I heard was raucous laughter coming from her room. It’s a movie that everyone, young and old, can relate to. The adults relate to growing up in that time, and the youngin’s relate to that feeling of wanting that one perfect gift under the Christmas tree. Also, it’s just plain hilarious. YELLOW EYES. GREEN TEETH. Oh man.

Well. Christmas on the east coast has been over for 5 hours now, and this post is incredibly long. I’m retiring to my cozy bed now, but I hope you all are having a wonderful Holiday season.

LOVE FOREVER,

Celisse

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