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The Weird Baseball Promotions of ’09

March 8, 2009

As a huge baseball lover, I try to make sure that if I go home during the season, the Astros are in town. And if there’s a good promotion? Ever better. For example, this year I’m going to go get this hilarious little gem:

Ridiculous AND Amazing.

Ridiculous AND Amazing.

But what about all of the ridiculous promotions that no one would ever want? Let’s review 2009’s most confusing promotions. [Side bar: Some teams don’t have their promotional schedule up yet, and not all of the weirder sounding promotions have pictures up yet, so this might not necessarily end up being the best of the best from the season.]

Angels Fiesta Platter

Angels Fiesta Platter

Now, the plate isn’t really that ridiculous. But when it’s something that you have to carry around the rest of the day, it’s a bit bulky. And when you realize that it’s called the “Fiesta Platter” and it’s for Hispanic Heritage Night, you just get a little confused. Nothing says Hispanic like a platter. For chips and salsa. [The Rangers are also giving out a salsa bowl for Hispanic Heritage Night. Unfortunately no picture is available.]

Arizona Diamondbacks Sandbox Set

Arizona Diamondbacks Sandbox Set

To be honest, I kind of want one. But I can’t imagine too many kids wanting to make a sandbox A in the sand. Especially since we’re not talking fun time dirty with glass and needles stuck in it beach sand. This is just it’s 120 degrees outside, get back in the house, desert sand.


The Indians have so many that I don’t even know where to start. The Slippers are for kids.. okay. But they’re also for adult females. Please, explain.


And then there’s the Fausto Carmona hat clip. Because we all want to be able to clip things to our hat and wear them around town.

At least they are also targeting their main demographic:

The Grady's Ladies <3 his legs.

The Grady's Ladies ❤ his legs.

I will take that one.

There’s no picture involved in this one, but, eh?

Mariners Classic TV Commercials DVD Night #2

Over the last 15 years Mariners players have starred in 100 award-winning Mariners television commercials.

Here’s your chance to pick up the second in the series of two Classic Mariners TV Commercial DVDs presented by FSN. The first 20,000 fans take home this limited-edition collection of TV commercials featuring Ichiro, Jamie, Felix and more!

This two part DVD series will not be sold in stores and is only available on the following giveaway nights:

July 10 – Mariners Classic TV Commercials DVD #1
August 28 – Mariners Classic TV Commercials DVD #2

Okay, I can’t lie. If there was an Astros DVD with the same description, I would want it. Still. What?

Jayson Werth Blanket

Jayson Werth Blanket

There are so many things wrong with this. It’s the Mother’s Day giveaway, which usually means a pink bag or hat or something, or if you’re in Cleveland, those weird Slider slippers, but in Philly, that means a giant Jayson Werth blanket sponsored by Motrin. I know Motrin has multiple uses, but to me, this is just a horrifically creepy blanket for women to hide under when they’re crampy and depressed. It’s like those people on eBay that sell pillowcases with celebrity dreamboats on them, and man, somewhere along the way our society went horribly off track.

AL Home Run Champ Bobblehead

AL Home Run Champ Bobblehead

I adore Miguel Cabrera, I really do. I know that bobbleheads generally look nothing like the person they are representing. But this one would give me nightmares. Oh, Miggy.

Justin Morneau Fishing Lure

Justin Morneau Fishing Lure

Twins Cowboy Hat

Twins Cowboy Hat

The Twins are usually good for a few ridiculous promotions (Joe Mauer sideburns anyone?), and this year is no exception. Justin Morneau fishing lure is one thing. But the Twins cowboy hat? And where was that picture taken? On a table in my grandpa’s living room? I don’t understand.


Rather then say anything, I will just paste the description:
Got Mullet? Join the White Sox for a night celebrating a classic American hairstyle, THE MULLET. Stay postgame for a spectacular fireworks display set to a music soundtrack of classic hair-bangin’ rockers!

Oh, baseball. Welcome back.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. kayos permalink
    May 11, 2009 9:00 am

    Interesting tid-bit that makes the above mentioned Jayson Werth (Phillies) fleece blanket even more strange, check out this article on the botched print job…

    I’d love to see the misprint.

  2. May 17, 2009 4:36 pm

    that’s amazing. i’d love to see it as well.

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