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The SNL Live Blog – Seth Rogen/Phoenix

April 5, 2009

This liveblog almost didn’t happen. My mom’s in town, so I’ve spent the last of my days hanging out with the family in Queens. Right next to the Aqueduct, but no, I was not at the big race today. An aunt dropped me off not too long again, and sleep, or watching the episode without blogging it seemed preferable. My sinuses are so clogged that my teeth hurt. But then I figured that I might as well give this blog some CPR in the form of Seth Rogen making pot jokes, fat jokes, skinny jokes and maybe some Scooby Doo jokes. I don’t know. Just go with it. And I love Phoenix as much as Sophia Coppola does, only not as intimately. So wonderful. So dance-y. So French.

Now, armed with some graham crackers, water, and Ambien, I’m watching the end of the WNBC news and Len Berman is doing the sports, and aw, he’s leaving soon isn’t he? Man, local news isn’t what it once was. Recession! Also, Michigan State busted the shit out of my bracket.

Cold Open: Barack Obama speaking about his gift gaffes. Okay, fine, he’s speaking about financial issues. And I’m zoning out as I usually do during the Barack impersonation. How can he get rid of Mr Coffee? And, it would’ve been funnier if he had eliminated GE. All dentists hate Colgate, though. I’ll miss you, Bic. Lots of people getting their online degrees in the crowd, eh? Geez, this is going on way way too long. Also, FYI, ToughBastard.org just takes you to NBC’s SNL page. Boring.

Monologue: Hey, Seth Rogen. Do you like graham crackers? I do. I hate that the guitar player behind you, Jared Scharff has insisted on wearing sunglasses the past few weeks. And Seth is already making weight jokes. Whee! I win. Shockingly, some people call him Lor-en and not Lorne, which has always weirded me out and confused me. Comparing Seth Rogen to Kevin James. Why are there so many mall cop movies this year? Sudeikis! Last time I saw him was Monday night, and he was super stoned and super gruff. It was pretty much the sexy. Tony’s Pizza’s logo looks like Sesame Street. The people in the front are laughing a lot, and it’s awkward. Both Bill Hader and Bobby Moynihan have stumbled over their lines already. Did they spend all week getting stoned and joking around with the Apatow clan?

The Fast & The Bi-Curious: Licking the oil stick thing is so disturbing. But that was a mildly amusing idea.

Save the Funnies: This is just like that sketch earlier this year where they came up with ways to save Broadway. So.. they find ways to make nonrecurring sketches recur. At least Sudeikis could try to sound like Dick Tracy. It even has the racist jokes like the Broadway one. Kcuf you. And a pubic hair joke. Is it just me, or is this episode already pretty bad? Is it the Ambien? The allergies? The lack of originality? Am I now just seeing SNL the way that everyone else seems to see it? Oh no!

Zac Efron and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs next week?! Man, what a combination. I’m ready!

La Rivista Della Televisione con Vinny Vedecci: Okay, I do love this character. Bring my morale up, Hades! Knocked Up as Attack of the Bear Man. I will have to rewatch that with the knowledge of Seth as a Bear Man. I love Bill’s impressions. So much. He should do them more often on the show. When you were a baby bear, were you bitten by a human? Get your water from a bear trap, bear man!!!

Digital Short: This short had better be all kinds of greatness. Corporate review rap! John Mulaney cameo! Bomb the Russians! Jet into the sun! He’s the boss. Not all kinds of great. But I found that much funnier than anything else so far. I would wager that was too short.

Phone Voices: Bill Hader’s girlfriend voice is so creepy. It’s not adorable. It’s creepy. And Andy’s is just mildly Mark Wahlburg and seductive and weird teethy. I enjoy Rogen’s Yoda. And seriously, there’s something awful going on with Andy’s teeth. I will forever love impressions and accents. They make me happy. But I would be more happy if there was a coherent point to what was going on.

Phoenix – Dance! Be merry! Rock out and wear scarves! I need to move to France. The music isn’t translating too well over the tv. I am sad. I also do not know what song that was. I tried to google search lyrics and have failed miserably and I do not have the album. Thanks to Yvonne, I now know that the song was “Lisztomania,” and the album is out in May. Whew. So now I don’t have to feel so guilty for only knowing “1901.”

Weekend Update: Seth Meyers is finally making fun of the Obama gift gaffes. I approve. And Blagojevich! Beating a dead whore. I’ve getting a litle loopy. I keep cracking my jaw. And I’m talking to a friend about a sweinger’s party and a show, and man, all of these things are more interesting than SNL tonight.

Jean K Jean!! I take it back! Most definite-oui. ENNCREEAABLAY.

Madonna and Angelina Jolie having their baby off is weird. So many conflicting emotions indeed, Seth.

Business Meeting: Fred Armisen’s angry stare is so strong. I would feel good if I got that CD. It’s way better than a key note speech. Nobody has ever been so sad and angry while listening to Grease. Rogen should get up and dance already. Oh, Darrell comes in to do the dancing.

Milestone High: I don’t even know where to start with that. So instead, where’s Forte tonight?

Kirby Spabblespoov: Hey, there’s Forte! Clancy T. Bachleratt and Jackie Snad sing Easter songs about spacehips, toddlers, model T. cars & jars of beer. I’m buying that for all of my friends for Easter. The rage in Forte’s face surrounded by Easter eggs is one of the creepiest things I’ve seen on SNL in awhile.

Phoenix – “1901”: Okay, this song I know and adore. I feel like the ssund is so canned, and it’s making me a little loud. It’s like the whole TV on the Radio sound debacle. Never have too much going on at the Studio 8-H stage because it’ll just become a clusterfuck of chaos. And Phoenix deserves better than that. the drummer is going nuts. I want to see more of him. Aw, a French count off!! and we’re seeing more of the drummer. I love it. I cannot wait for you, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix.

Muppet Bus: I have reached a new level of sleepiness because the cast are all dressed as Muppets. And Andy Samberg was born to play the Swedish chef. Forte does a good Kermit. Michela does a good Janice. And Hader does a great Animal. Sudeikis’ Fozzie Bear is lacking. Kristen should only play Beaker from now on. Seth’s Rolf is good. Gonzo’s awful. And they shot Nipsy Russell! Wakka wakka wakka…

Closing: Oh how miserable this episode was to me. But atleast the majority of the Mupets stayed in costume. And yes! Phoenix is playing again! And they’re playing an oldie!!! “Too Young” I love it!!!! This is exciting. I could listen to this song all day long. I wish the SNL cast would dance on stage with them in their Muppet costumes. So who at SNL is a huge Phoenix fan? They don’t just let anyone play three songs. And, aw, it got cut off pretty quickly. I’ll just listen to it at home now and smile.

To the show’s benefit, there weren’t really any pot jokes, just jokes that I would think were written while they were all stoned and it seemed hilarious. Only, dudes, it wasn’t. I’m going to pass out now and have hilarious dreams and turn them into sketches and mail them to Seth Meyers. Because they can do better.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. jill permalink
    April 5, 2009 1:33 am

    Ok, I thought this episode was amazing, and yet everyone else seems to hate it.
    The only thing I didn’t super-laugh at was Weekend Update, Milestone High, and the comic thing, but I was still pleasantly entertained.
    I think most people’s humor is very obvious, they can only laugh at political or pop culture refferences, not silly, insane, random humor, which is what Snl has slowly morphed into.
    I honestly think Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader are the best thing to happen to comedy.

  2. April 5, 2009 8:32 am

    I too, enjoyed the episode. Milestone High and the “One that I Want” left more to be desired. But I thought it was funny.
    Bill Hader is incredible, his impressions are always the major highlight of the show. I agree with Jill above me, the best thing to happen to comedy.

  3. April 7, 2009 9:41 am

    wow.. it’s a great post, i was looking for this, thank you for the information

  4. love permalink
    April 14, 2009 7:11 pm

    hey thanks for the blog! i loved this episode of SNL. i was really into Phoenix. who was the drummer? you know?

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