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Japan is the Most Fantastical Place in All the Land

April 29, 2009

I actually was going to liveblog President Obama’s 100th Day News Conference, but uh.. I missed half of it. Whoops! So you get this instead:

Credit: Laughing Squid

Credit: Laughing Squid

You may be wondering why there’s a giant pink penis being carried around by a small army of pink-adorned Japanese people. Well, its Spring time in Kawasaki, Japan. Spring time in America yields short dresses, curly hair, and orange nail polish. In Japan, it yields Kanamara Matsuri, The Festival of the Steel Phallus!

From Laughing Squid:

Kanamara Matsuri is a Shinto Festival of the Steel Phallus that takes place each Spring in Kawasaki, Japan. The origins of this festival stem from an innkeepers daughter who had the misfortune of having a demon with sharp teeth fall in love with her. As demons are wont to do, the little bastard decided to take up residency in her vagina, and then wield his sharp teeth against the innkeeper’s daughter’s male companions. Enter Hero Blacksmith who crafted a fine steel phallus, which broke the poor demon’s teeth.

Two words, kids: Vagina Dentata. Apparently people were terrified of it even in the days of inn keepers, demons, and daughters. You just never know.

According to Wikipedia, the festival is also centered around a penis-venerating shrine, which was popular among prostitutes who would pray there for protection against STD’s. Go figure. Pray to the penis for protection. Hilarious alliteration.

Now, the festival is used to spread awareness about HIV/AIDS and raises money for research. A penis with good intentions — who knew?!

So this week, lets all be nice to the penises in our lives. Hopefully they won’t get attacked by vagina dentata.

Have a great night!

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