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Inside the Obama White House!

June 7, 2009

It is a beautiful day in Brooklyn, which means that I haven’t left my apartment and spent the whole day in my pajamas. Though, in my defense, the shades are open so I am getting sunlight. That’s not much by way of defense, is it?

Anyhoo, I figured I’d try my hand at liveblogging a special that aired four days ago. And only the second half, because, well, someone here screwed the pooch and didn’t even know this special existed until the second night. (I’m talking about myself).

Thankfully, Conan aired a bit on his second night as host of the Tonight Show (which by the way has been comedy bliss so far).

EXCERPT:

NBC plugging! Brian Williams is doing some hard hitting journalism by discussing Conan O’Brien. There’s no Washington bailout for Conan. “Between Leno and.. uh.. Conan.” Aw, Obama forgot Conan’s name. Poor ConeZone.

Alright, away we go.

Bo is trying to eat microphones, Obama is laughing, the kids are being cute, so already we’re in too precious town.

Brian Williams is standing on one of the White House verandas, and I am insanely jealous. Because there are few things in life that I know I will probably never do, and one of them is definitely standing around on the White House grounds.

Barack Obama is joking around with camera people while they play All-American Rejects (“Move Along”) and Brian Williams voice overs about how he moves around a lot (get it? Sigh). The Oval Office is shockingly empty. He has a tiny study and a home office, which means he gets to be closer to his family.

Hillary Clinton makes small-talk with staff about her college reunion.

Rahm Emanuel drinks coffee. He has a giant office. I am mesmerized by his missing finger piece. I’m sorry.

Joe Biden has an office that looks like a living room and walks around holding baseballs or something. They keep showing him making missteps and gaffes, and it’s awesome. Awww, Joey B. Now they’re showing Jason Sudeikis’ impersonation of Joe Biden, and put it right next to actual Joe Biden and you can see the brilliance of Sudeikis. Joe Biden is talking about wearing funny hats, and there is a cap over his right shoulder. Hm. Now they’re showing him leaning on a desk while talking about the President leaning on him. Can we quit it with the narrational wordplay? It’s pretty weak.

Joe Biden wears a lapel pin for his son in Iraq, and we have a serious discussion of soldiers. Biden is speaking softly and Brian Williams isn’t interrupting to crack jokes, so interlaced with photography of soliders it’s poignant.

Hey! They’re playing Chairlift while talking about Michelle Obama! I know some people that will be very happy to hear that. Like Chairlift who will make some money for that six second clip. Though the lyrics are a little off here: I tried to do hand stands for you, but everytime I fell on you, I’m permanently black and blue.

I’m reading too much into this.

It’s Michelle Obama time! No wait. First they have to show a jittery and panicked cut away of staff running around like chickens with their heads cut off. And now they’re talking about George Washington. Oh, and there’s Michelle. We’re now in the East wing, so Michelle walks in with Bo. And Brian Williams greets Bo first. Ha! Brian Williams is also standing up and fidgeting with something behind him, probably a mic pack, but it looks insanely awkward. That’s okay, because we’re about to have another awkward cut to how the East Wing is not as frenzied as the West, probably because there are lavender plants in all of the windows or something.

Michelle Obama pictures interlaced with her standing on a runway and magazine covers and the lines, “She can sell magazines just by being on the cover. She can sell sweaters just by putting them on.” Whoever wrote this script (Brian Williams?) should have worked on this a little more. It’s inane.

We’re meeting Press Secretary Katy McCormack Leliveld, whose name I probably spelled completely wrong, but she seems nice enough and properly organized with her stacked desk and two Blackberrys in proper cases. It’s a rainy day and we get a few shots of the garden, swingset and set lights (whoops!) in the window while Brian Williams gets distracted petting Bo. The Obamas had better watch out, Brian Williams is going to try to petnap that guy. The garden provides plants for a local homeless shelter. That’s great. Students from Bancroft Elementary School were allowed on the grounds to help plant with Michelle last month, and it makes me want to have kids in DC if they get the opportunity to hang out with the President so much. That’s a huge honour. Fly some kids in from Iowa or something! (Okay, I know that’s unnecessary spending). There’s a beehive, too. I’d buy Obama brand honey for charity.

Barack Obama is out for fastfood. Huh. He’s at Five Guys. Which apparently ends up being a news story.

Michelle Obama is wearing pedal pushers and referring to elementary school students as little people. She’s helping Bancroft Elementary plant their own garden and hugging children, and coming up we’re going to learn more about Bo, and about how Brian Williams has been sent to prison for attempted dognapping.

Michelle Obama’s central message for children is, “I see myself in them.” She wants to focus them on what they can do. An eight year old has written Michelle Obama about being the first female President. It’s kind of adorable. I wonder how many letters like that Hillary Clinton has received. She certainly deserves them.

Michelle Obama’s priorities: eating healthy, military families, raising her own family.

Valerie Jarrett, Senior adviser to Obama, sneaks her off White House grounds. It’s not a secret anymore. I doubt it ever was a secret. Michelle Obama has a pretty huge forehead scar that I’m not sure I ever noticed before.

Barack and Michelle meet up in a White House hallway, and Bo turns around between his legs, tripping him up as he gives Michelle a kiss. The audio in this scene isn’t so good, but hearing the President of the United States growl and baby talk a dog is sweet. Barack picks up Bo’s poop at around 930 every night. Good to know.

We’re back to Barack’s staff. Talking about their families, the relocation, etc. David Axelrod has a painting of the White House done by his daughter who has pretty bad epilepsy. The Chicago skyline is painted into the White House fountain.

Rahm Emanuel has some pictures in the background, one of which is covered by another face. It’s strange. His family is moving out East soon, so he’ll get to see his family soon. Rahm hasn’t seen his family in about six months, David Axelrod has some serious eyebrows, and Barack Obama gets to see his kid’s off to school. Hasn’t Rahm been around Washington forever? Why is his family so far away? Axelrod should give some of his eyebrows to Tim Geithner.

We’re at clips of the DNC, etc, while they’re playing Mika’s “Lollipop,” which is about prostitution. Sigh. Sasha and Malia are so precious, soundtrack be damned. The special couldn’t follow them at all, which explains why they’re showing a bunch of old shots of them. And film crews focus on Barack and his White Sox jacket at their soccer games. Malia is going to be so tall. The swingset is visible from the Oval Office, so he can watch his daughters. Though he doesn’t spend that much time in the Oval? Obama is worried about whether boys will ask them out because they’re the President’s daughters. He must have seen the episodes of the West Wing with Zoey’s stupid French royalty boyfriend.

Brian Williams is still wandering the White House even though the President and his family are all outside of the US. I hope Bo is hidden! Barack’s body language in response to Dick Cheney is very interesting. We’re getting political here. Someone said General Motors is his Vietnam. He doesn’t want to respond to the criticism about traveling to California or New York, and I say good for him. And now we’re speaking of the Middle East peace process and problems in Muslim countries and hopefuly we can open a dialogue. We’ve switched after 30 seconds of that to the topic of Dr. George Tiller. Murder in a church is abhorrent. I don’t understand why any pro-life person thinks that’s okay. Barack also says as much. And a quick Google search reveals that Dr. Tiller’s personal website is currently shutdown, requesting privacy. Barack Obama thinks that gay and lesbian couples have a friend in the White House. We’re just rolling through all of the big topics right now like a freight train. Next stop, Recession! Barack is speaking, but it must not be important, because Brian Williams is voice over summarizing the hell out of it.

Now we’ve moved on from the politics to the letters that Barack reads each night. I believe that the White House mail reader selects around eight letters a day for Barack, but I can’t be quoted on that. I tried to look for the article again, but so far am unsuccessful.

Special is over, BWillz says goodbye from the South Portico. Outtakes time! Brian Williams Blackberry went off during an interview with the President. Because there’s no one on the staff that would’ve thought to turn that off? Seriously. What a cheesefest this all was.

They’ve been doing these specials since the Carter White House, and they’re all archived at MSNBC. I could watch part one online at a later time. And maybe next week I’ll liveblog “Inside the Reagan White House.” Ha!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 7, 2009 10:11 pm

    Make fun of Obama, and bow to your Lord and Master, Reagan, whose economic policies are the same ones Bush followed to get us in the recession you so cavalierly mention. Want to talk about Lord Ronnie? Try looking up Iran-Contra, if your log-cabin brain isn’t too fried…

  2. Kim permalink
    June 7, 2009 10:25 pm

    Exactly what in this post made you think that I’m making fun of Obama and praising Reagan/W? Look around the blog a little bit more. Check out the election day posts while you’re at it. Then get back to me.

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