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SNL is back! The Taylor Swift Liveblog

November 8, 2009

First things first, Julian Casablancas’ solo album, Phrazes for the Young came out this week, and amongst the amazingness is his cover of “I Wish it Was Christmas Today,” which is one of the better things to have happened on SNL in the last ten years. A clip that, sadly, because NBC is well-known for erasing it’s presence from YouTube, I can’t show you. But you CAN hear the song (and the album!) by clicking here.

Anywho, it was the song that Horatio sang with Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan and Tracy Morgan. It also spread to Easter and other holidays. I was fortunate enough to see it in person once (the Janet Jackson episode), and I almost died laughing.

Speaking of that episode and dying laughing: Remember the cork soakers sketch?

To the show! Taylor Swift is America’s sweetheart these days, so I guess it makes sense, but I never would have thought of her as someone who should Host/MG. Though with SNL being worse than awful these days, why not?

Also, OMG GUYS, I FOUND THE CHRISTMAS TODAY VIDEO! Don’t tell NBC!!! Considering Tracy’s recent comments about Chris Kattan (and Cheri O’Teri), it kind of makes that seem less cheerful.

Cold Open: We’re opening with Kristen Wiig as Greta van Susteren instead of an awful Fred as Barack impersonation, so already we’re up. Shep Smith is scary as hell. Even though this isn’t a Barack opening and that’s great, the intro to this sketch makes me think it’s going to be a very, very long and not so funny cold open. Obama is responsible for the death of Michael Jackson. Hee. Loving America is legal again! Thanks, Glenn Beck. I like this impersonation.

Monologue: Taylor Swift sure is tall. And wearing a really not cute dress. There is something oddly Demetri Martin-like in her delivery. She’s going to sing “The Monologue Song (La La)” She’s singing about things she’s not going to talk about in her monologue, like how she writes songs about ex-boyfriends. So, when is she going to bring up Joe Jonas? Oh, there she is. “Hey Joe, I’m doing really well.” Did she really just blow a kiss to Taylor Lautner in her monologue song? Ha. This is cutesy funny. This is like, Sonny With a Chance funny. And last time I checked, this was not the Disney channel. It was 11:30 on a Saturday. That’s okay! Because I enjoy both kinds of humour! Booyah! The suspect sketch looks more like T.I. then Kanye West. Hm. “We have a great show, Kanye West is not here.”

Carter N’ Sons BBQ: It’s important for everyone to know that this commercial was filmed in 2002 before the swine flu outbreak. Why? Because this is a commercial for Carter N’ Sons BBQ, where if you try their pulled pork, you’ll get SWINE FEVER! Swine fever IS NOT related to Swine Flu. It’s super contagious! Jason Sudeikis is all over this mother tonight. Don’t forget to try the Sausage and Ribs Combo! They recognize that this spells SARS. They regret the coincidence. Funniest commercial they’ve had all season.

The View: Taylor Swift is Kate Gosselin. “So what, who cares?” Nasim Pedrad is doing Barbara Walters. I like it. Gosselin also has a beautiful American hairstyle. There is a side view of the set right now, and Kristen (as Elizabeth Hasselbeck) is speaking directly to Kate Gosselin while not looking at her AT ALL, and maybe it’s part of the Hasselbeck impression that I just don’t understand as someone who has never seen an episode of the View, but if not, HOLY FUCK, KRISTEN, you’ve been on the show for a really long time now. GET USED TO CUE CARDS. (I recognize that I just wrote the longest sentence ever. Sorry.) I thought that the sketch was about to end, and instead they’re bringing out a guest. Andy Samberg as Nicolas Cage. And hey! Andy can do an impression!

Digital Short: This is very early in the ep for a digital short. It’s a movie trailer. And it’s mocking Twilight as Firelight. Twilight about Frankenstein. I would see this. Taylor Swift has the bad acting Kristen Stewart lip bite down pat. And now there are mummies! It would be awesome if that mummy were Taylor Lautner and not Andy Samberg. Oh well. I wish there was more of that.

Hollywood Dish Interview: Taylor is being interviewed by people with really exaggerated facial expressions. They nod like that so everyone knows their engaged and listening. Now they look frightened. Sight gags aplenty! Now they’re bringing up Kanye West and asking her to laugh more. Her crazy big fake laugh is scary. Bill Hader just spit taked all over Kristen Wiig’s face. That was fantastic. Spit takes are hilarious.

Next week January Jones with the Black Eyed Peas. As good as the Jon Hamm episode was last year, I think that January Jones is an extremely limited actress, and I’m not sure that I can handle watching her try to be funny for an hour and a half. And I DO NOT LIKE the Black Eyed Peas. Jones may pleasantly surprise me, though, as she was moderately funny in her Love, Actually cameo. Kind of.

T.R.A.A.A.P.D.: Oh yeah, I forgot about Abby Elliott. Taylor Swift is playing a gal named Samantha with a crazy retainer who wants everyone to know that teens who text while driving aren’t the only bad drivers. Teens Raising Awareness about Awful Parent Drivers is her organization. More Sudeikis and Wiig. They’re driving while giving the Birds and the Bees talk, racing to sweater sales at Nordstrom’s, arguing with the GPS, etc. Driving while having a sarcastic conversation with the car in front of you. Man, that’s me. All. the. time.

Taylor Swift “You Belong with Me”: I like this dress much more than her monologue dress. She can’t sing about how “She wears short skirts” when she’s wearing a short dress, can she? She is. Her voice isn’t as strong as I would expect. She’s singing very quietly, and it’s shaky. Lackluster, Taylor. Lackluster.

Weekend Update: Hi, Sethly. He just opened with perhaps my favorite WU joke this year. Let’s quote! “This week in a positive sign that the economy may be recovering, New Yorkers started buying big ticket items again, like elections and championships.” The health care reform bill passed the House vote. And.. Seth just said that. I’m glad that WU can break some news. I watched the vote. It made me feel all tingly inside. Nicholas Fehn! It’s been awhile.

Taylor Swift and SNL are trending right now on twitter. The teenies are mad!

hilsjonas Huh? RT @jonasnatasha Taylor Swift disses Kanye West and Joe Jonas ? And mocked Twilight ? What the fuck is going on with her ?

Teenies! Don’t curse!

Abby Elliott as Sarah McLachlan. Not shocking, as she played McLachlan in a sketch that was cut last year about the ASPCA commercials. And that’s exactly what they’re doing here. Reformat a sketch into an Update appearance. A woman has two vaginas and menstrual cycles? Oh geez.

OMG REALLY WITH SETH AND AMY OMG AMY WHAT AHHHHHHH.

I had stopped paying attention to read more Taylor Swift Twitter updates, so let’s rewind to find the premise. Ah, yes, the wonderful story of the CDC giving H1N1 vaccines to Goldman Sachs et al.

REALLY?! Are flu shots like bonuses now?

That wasn’t super funny, but it was still awesome. Ugh, I love them. Unabashedly.

Penelope: Oh God, not this character again. Why, why, why? Who would invite Penelope to a wedding? Will Forte, that is a crazy vest. Penelope has a salad bar in her car. It runs on blue cheese dressing. They keep saying really, and it’s distracting after “Really with Seth & Amy” just ended. The moon is made of honey! Swift’s Penelope impression was pretty on. She’s been really touch and go with the acting all night. But the sketches have been fairly amusing, and she’s not claiming to be an actress, so I’ll give her a pass.

Scared Straight: Ugh, ugh, ugh, another annoying recurring character. If Swift is not one of the kids, is she going to be a convict? Yes, yes, she is. She’s assisting Kenan’s McIntosh. And she has dreads. And lip gloss. Taylor Swift is so skinny. I just got really sleepy. I don’t think I can handle this right now. The movie plots he’s stealing tonight are Top Gun, Sound of Music and Back to the Future. How do you solve a problem like gonorrhea? Oh no, Bill is losing it. Bill always loses it in this sketch, doesn’t he? He has the best preventative face ever. It’s so hard to not laugh at Bill trying not to laugh. He instinctively goes to cover his mouth and realizes he cant do that, and it’s great. So great. 1.21 jizzawatts! Wow, now Jason is laughing. That came out of nowhere. And Bill is CRACKING UP.

Roommate: Nasim Pedrad is really close to her roommate. They don’t like to be apart for any period of time. It’s awkward. This sketch is so strange, and Taylor Swift has huge feet. Nasim Pedrad is kind of great. I hope she gets more to do. Cut some Kristen Wiig time.

Taylor Swift – “Untouchable”: Somebody just yelled “once again Taylor Swift!” even though the camera wasn’t on them at all and it seems like they weren’t ready. Was it Amy Poehler? Kind of sounded like her. Slow song. There are lit candles. I don’t like this song. Or her country prom dress.

Bunny Business: Bunnies with ambition! Randy Newman did the soundtrack, and now he’s singing the songs! Fred hasn’t been in the episode that much. Boo! Natalie Merchant. Randy Newman and Natalie Merchant. Old references for an episode that has played really, really young. Taylor Swift can do a pretty good Shakira. I’m impressed. She obviously can’t dance anything like her, though. Eddie Vedder and Christina Aguilera? Abby needs to stop singing. Seriously. Kenan as Jennifer Hudson. This is funnier than it should be.

Closing: This was the best episode of the season, which isn’t saying much. It played really young, which obviously makes sense given the host, but considering how genuinely awful the season has been, I want them to prove they can write sketches for adults again. Until then, impressing audiences with Disney Channel sketches doesn’t really fly. And not to sound too negative, because I actually did enjoy the episode. Taylor did a decent job. She was a much better host than musical guest. I hope that they can keep this up with January Jones. And maybe give Will Forte more to do.

Now I’ll go watch yesterday’s episode of White Collar. Anyone else think Matt Bomer is the poor man’s Jon Hamm?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. November 9, 2009 6:30 am

    I LOVE your reviews. I have to say I’m ‘new’ to SNL so not as objective as you are (I have a tendancy to laugh at everything) but it is true, since the beginning of the season, sketches can be disapointing. Anyways, I was so happy to see Amy, WU is like my fav part (along with the Short). And Penelope!! Oh God I’m glad I’m not the only one annoyed by that sketch. And I totally agree about the “really” note. The only part I like is when the host imitates her. Last but not least: how awesome is it when people laugh when they’re not supposed to?

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