Skip to content

SNL Live Blog! The APlusK/Them Crooked Vultures Edition

February 7, 2010

Another Saturday night, another live blog! I’m getting good at this again, apparently. I used to love Ashton Kutcher on That 70s Show. In fact, I probably had a picture of him on my middle school planner or something. And in hearing about this episode, I figured, man, he was great on SNL before. Except I was confusing him with Justin Timberlake’s first SNL hosting gig. “Call me Kootch!” So, I have no recollection of his previous hostings. Hopefully he can be good. I at least have faith that he’s the kind of guy that would be down foranything they could throw at him.

I’ll be liveblogging this one in between watching episodes of Skins, because even though the characters are all annoying and the storylines suck, I can’t resist Freddie’s lips.

Also, because I had family over today and they left too late for me to do anything else (I know you’re all sad for me now).

Cold Open: We’re opening with “On the Record with Greta Van Susteren.” Kristen does a great Van Susteren, and she holds back, which is pretty lacking in a Wiig performance of late. We have Moynihan as Karl Rove. Forte as Oliver North, Elliott as “Attractive Blonde Lady” and Hader as Robert Gibbs. Seems a little strange to not have Fred Armisen in the cold open. We’re talking about “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” and it’s really boring, except YES, Sudeikis as Glenn Beck. I love this impresion. He’s tearing up while talking about a man, and that man is George Washington, and HE IS DEAD. Did you all know that there is no “I” in Liberty? I wish that I could yell “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” but I have about as much chance of that as being Chief Justice.

Monologue: Do we think his monologue is going to be about Twitter? Is he going to twitter while making his monologue? He’s hosted SNL four times? Really? And he’s going to celebrate his birthday during the show? His monologue is actually about self control, because he’s not the spastic crazy dude he once was. Even though there’s a dog on a surfboard in the audience, he can’t freak out over Sudeikis teaching a kid t-ball and getting hit in the babymaker. Old lady dance party! Superman is ordering drinks with Storm Troopers! And Mark Twain on a mini motorcycle! And Ashton Kutcher has just freaked out and .. those are some underwear, Kootch.

Estate: The satellite is flipping out a bit, so it’s possible that I can’t do the full show. We’re at a will reading for a 110 year old lady who died. Angel the pool boy, who slept with her for 10 years, only receives pool privileges – and not in the summer. She died from chlamydia, so now he gets to swim in the pool with chlamydia! I honestly think that I should never watch SNL in HD, because every week I see wig and skinlines all over the place. For a first sketch, that was really, really EH, just as I imagine Jennifer Lopez’s hosting/MGing will be on February 27. I think I’ll stay far away from that one. It’s worth noting that Jenny Slate and Bobby Moynihan were both in this sketch and had about 5 seconds of airtime. Combined.

The View: Nasim Pedrad is Barbara Walters, and as a friend pointed out to me last week, she nearly always plays an older lady. This is the second “Don’t ask, don’t tell” sketch. And I will only pay attention to Kenan and Fred here. I can only take Kristen’s Hasselbeck impression in small doses. Very small doses. Small. Doses. Small. Kutcher is out doing a really bad impression of Mel Gibson, but I accept the effort. The description of the plot of his movie and how it is “just a collection of clips from his old movies,” is pretty funny, but again, eh. EH EH EH.

Cialis for Threeways: There are antidepressants and Xanax in it to help you cope with the shame and fights that occur afterwards. Semi funny commercial. I have nothing more to say about this.

Hey, Andy Samberg is still on this show after all! We’re in Rome during a war, but all the Emperor cares about is getting grapes from his slave boy. My screen keeps freezing, so I checked out Ashton’s twitter, and he’s been posting live videos. Grape attack! This is the most pointless and unfunny sketch I’ve seen in awhile.

Them Crooked Vultures – Mind Eraser, No Chaser: Cool lights! Rock icons! A satellite that doesn’t want to work! Josh Homme used to look so much like Craig Kilborn. He doesn’t look so much like him anymore. Though I haven’t seen Kilborn in a long, long time. This is rock and roll. Complete with not having a clue what any of them are singing. Whatevs! I love it.

Weekend Update: Hey, Seth. My satellite is going crazy right now, but I’m pretty sure he’s chanting “USA” with regards to Toyota. And .. the satellite is enjoying giving me the set-up without the punchline. This is unfortunate. Samberg is Liam the teenager who just woke up. I wish Andy was on the show more often. Remember when him and Bill Hader first started and they were all over the place? I only say these things, because apparently Andy is singing, but I can’t hear it. Did they paint a gap on Samberg’s teeth, or has that always been there? EMO PUPPIES!!

I’m glad that I can see the skin line on Hader’s head, because otherwise that would be an insanely huge forehead.

“I don’t think that you should use that one.”
“Because of my scandal?”

This is going on way too long, but Seth and Hader are really enjoying this.

TOO MANY GUESTS, NOT ENOUGH JOKES. But I can’t argue with Jean K. Jean. EN-CRAY-ABLAY!!! My satellite doesn’t want me to enjoy this. Things I just learned about Ashton Kutcher: he has a twin brother. So, happy birthday, Michael Kutcher! Michael Kutcher has over 11,000 followers, and I vote it’s because he is Ashton Kutcher’s twin brother. Aww, it’s Garth and Kat, here to make up songs that I will not be able to hear while Seth giggles. This is the Update full of giggling guests, isn’t it? I will have to watch this on Hulu tomorrow.

What is Burn Notice?: This is an interesting idea for a sketch, potentialy. Sudeikis is hosting the game show “What is Burn Notice?” Contestants have to say SOMETHING about Burn Notice. Sudeikis’ facial expressions are killing me here. Burn Notice is about a spy who has been “burned” or something, which means they try to kill him off because he did something wrong so they erase all record of his existence, like the Bourne Identity? Ashton’s answer is about it being a show on USA, and characters are welcome there. Hee!

Also, something I know about Burn Notice, the lead character is named Michael Weston, not to be confused with the actor Michael Weston:

Ashton Kutcher got something right! It takes place in Miami! They think! I watch pretty much every show on USA except for Burn Notice.

Access Hollywood: They’re covering the Oscar nominees. Nasim Pedrad is Maria Menounos and Ashton Kutcher is Billy Bush. Abby Elliott is doing an Anne Hathaway impression, and she does have her facial expressions down, but she just sounds like Abby Elliott. There are about 3291 movies nominated for Best Picture. Old Dogs! And now reality TV is nominated! Ace of Cakes! JERSEY SHORE! Classic movies like Juwanna Mann and K-Pax! Sequels that haven’t come out yet! Why is this happening? Let it die. And now they’re nominating the same movies again. And now my satellite is frozen again. Wah wah!

Rahm Emanuel: We love the Rahm-Bone around here, and we totally love Andy Samberg’s impersonation. Emanuel called a few people retarded. When he gets angry, he sounds more like his Mark Wahlburg, but I still love it. I am officially calling this the best line of the episode: “Also, you come after me on Facebook? What are you 14? Here’s a status update: grow the fuck up! Poke me again, and I’ll write shit on your wall so obscene your computer will cry!”

In conclusion, Boo-fucking-hoo, indeed. I’m calling this episode for Andy Samberg all the way.

Them Crooked Vultures – “New Fang”: Whoever wrote the lyrics for this song on this website cracks me up, because man, nobody knows what’s going on. Dave Grohl is rocking out like it’s 1993 all over again. This sounds like a Queens of the Stone Age song, no?

Cadena-Norton Wedding: As soon as they said band, I figured Dave Grohl would be in this sketch. Is Grohl the person that has been on SNL the most times with the most different acts? Prostate jokes! Old man band! And sweet, this band ends up being death metal! Kitcher is breaking glasses, and Armisen is throwing tables on people. I wish I was an extra in this, because I’d be all about Armisen throwing food on me on live television. The waiters are pissed, my satellite is pissed, and we’re having technical difficulties, because Grohl’s mic stopped working. Nice save, Kutcher. Sudeikis, as father of the groom, is sooo into this. I bet he wishes he was in this band. He just got Hader’s bass pick. Short and awesome. Nice.

Credits: Is this the first time this season that a host hasn’t had their famous significant other even mentioned? I’m proud of them for not having this be a time to showcase Demi Moore with anything. Ashton just called them “The Crooked Vultures,” while Dave Grohl stood there like a weird old politician. He also wished himself a happy birthday. WHAT ABOUT YOUR TWIN BROTHER, YO? Seriously, without Update, Andy’s Rahm sketch and the closer, this episode would’ve been just as weak as the majority of the season. Kutcher tried, he just didn’t have much to do. Them Crooked Vultures were great, but what else did you expect? Josh Homme is like 8 feet tall, isn’t he? There are a lot of checkered shirts on that stage right now. Let’s call it an off season. I’m starting to think that on any Saturday night that I am at home, I should just watch Lost reruns on ABC. Maybe.

One Comment leave one →
  1. craig permalink
    November 8, 2011 3:43 pm

    This is how far behind New Zealand is… Just saw this episode, thought he said “The Crooked Vultures”, Homme & Grohl share a smile over that one, in the background. Classic. Nice stuff. LOST is missed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: