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Skins skins SKINS LIVEBLOG!!

January 18, 2011

Oh my God. Ohhhh my God. I have never driven home from work so fast. I made it with minutes to spare before plopping myself on the couch to catch the 11pm repeat of the premiere of MTV Skins. I am READY FOR THIS, except I really really have to pee but don’t want to miss anything. CRAP.

 

MTV Skins Cast

 

 

Okay its starting. With a ratings disclaimer, LOL. The intro is shorter and the theme tune is different. OH OH OH They’re starting with an Animal Collective song, hilariously. And now they introduce MTV Tony, and MTV Eura. Eura looks less like she’s been partying all night and more like a homeless vagrant. Tony’s comforter doesn’t have naked people on it and that is upsetting.

Naked lady across the street has giant knockers. MTV Tony’s dad is less hilarious than UK Tony’s dad. Is it too soon to say that? Oh, there’s his butt crack. Awesome. Anyway, he’s yelling a lot and not really accomplishing anything other than being super annoying.

Now they’re introducing Stanley (Sid). And Daisy (Jal). And Michelle. “Gosh Golly?” Uh….

I know this is the first episode and these are mostly unknown actors but this is very poorly acted.

There’s Chris. Can I say that he looks 12? Like, legit, he looks and sounds prepubescent. He doesn’t look old enough or sexy enough to get into all the debauchery that UK Chris gets into.

Oh there’s.. Anwar? What’s MTV Anwar’s name? AND There’s crazy female Maxxie. Her name is Tea I think. So, I love Maxxie. I’m upset they turned him into some lesbian cheerleader.

COMMERCIAL BREAK. BATHROOM TIME. tmi?

Oh Jesus the commercial break is over and I never even got off the couch. I will have to pee through this entire episode. The gang is in sociology class and we just got a glimpse of MTV Angie. HER NAME IS TINA? I don’t understand the purpose of changing only some of the characters’ names. Someone explain this to me.

Oh my God, seriously, MTV Chris is horrible. He is twelve. Has his voice even changed?

Okay, so they just bleeped out an f-bomb. Really, MTV? They totally just did a Lindsay Lohan Mean Girls slow sexy pan up from Michelle’s feets to her face. Ridiculous.

I guess they’re focusing on Stanley right now, but I’d like to talk about MTV Tony. I have felt pretty strongly WAIT, they just introduced Cady (Cassie?) and she’s… crazy. And she seems more commanding than UK Cassie, who was always very … insane, but in a delightful fae ethereal way. Whatever.

Nicholas Hoult

Anyway, back to Tony. I have felt pretty strongly since they introduced the actor that he is just not mean enough. I made that judgement before even seeing the premiere, but now having seen his portrayal so far, I feel it’s a fair assessment. Tony was a great character because he was talented and good looking and popular, and also a bit evil with more than his fair share of cruelty. Nicholas Hoult was great in this role for that reason. You’d see his face and remember the kid from About a Boy and want to love him, but you also really wanted him to get hit by a bus because he was just so needlessly awful to people.

 

 

James Milo Newman seems to be saying the words, but when he says them, they don’t bite the way Hoult’s words did. He plays Tony like a secretly nice guy who is trying really hard to be evil, which is not who Tony is at all. Tony is a mean guy without a heart. The end. This is just the first episode, though, so I hope he’ll grow into the character more. I’M KINDA ROOTING FOR JAMES MILO NEWMAN, GUYS. I have no idea why, but I am.

Sofia Black D'elia, James Milo Newman, and Rachel Thevenard

 

Now it’s the Choir scene, and Stanley is on his way to see the drug dealer. Can I say how much I hated the Mad Twatter on UK Skins? SO CREEPY. I hope US drug dealer guy isn’t so horribly unlikeable.

Oh hi, MTV Abby. What’s her name? Tabitha? Whoa, Headmaster guy’s eyes are way close together and its incredibly distracting.

Oh it’s the hookers! Did she just say Jamaysia? What?

Oh, smoking weed in the school bathroom. How risque. MTV Chris and MTV Anwar just explained why Stanley shouldn’t be buying drugs right now. And MTV Twatter, his name is LE DONG? WAHAHA. He just arrived on the scene with Stan. He’s not terrifying, thank God. He’s just… old.

Oh good, it’s the grabbing of the balls scene. And Stanley is holding a LOT of marijuana. Like, a Harold and Kumar-worthy amount of weed.

Ugh, there are so many commercial breaks. STOP THE MADNESS!

AAAAAND we’re back. Oh, there’s creepy Cady. And she’s eating cheese puffs because creepy Cady only eats cheese puffs. The gang is at the party and Tabitha answers the door and her breasts are EVERYWHERE, which is upsetting because she, much like MTV Chris, looks to be about twelve years old. I think I am officially too old for this show. Tony and Michelle are dancing ridiculously, Stanley is watching creepily, and creepy Cady is taking a bunch of pills. Sounds like EVERY SINGLE HOUSE PARTY I ever went to as a 16 year old.*

Tea, MTV Anwar (whose name I still don’t remember) and Chris are at their Big Gay Night Out, and I missed what happened, and I don’t have a DVR on this TV so I can’t rewind. BLAST. Now creepy Cady and Stan are making out on the trampoline, and Cady is telling him that it shows he’s in love with Michelle. Really? Cos from what I can tell, staring creepily doesn’t equal love.

Chris, MTV Anwar, and Tea are at the party. How did they even get there? WHAT DID I MISS? They’re stealing crap from the rich girl’s house. Shocking.

Now we’re back to the trampoline scene and creepy Cady is telling Stan that she took a bunch of pills. Well, obviously. Now she’s not responding to him. CADY IS DEAD. SHOW OVER.

Just kidding.

FIGHT IN THE RICH GIRL’S HOUSE. Once again, just like every house party I went to as a 16 year old.*

Wait, is it snowing there? It looks like snow but none of them are dressed warmly. IRRESPONSIBLE CHILDREN, YOU WILL CATCH A COLD. And that cold will progress to Chronic Asthmatic Bronchitis, which is what I currently am suffering from. PSA, kids: It sucks. Wear a freakin’ coat when it gets cold. Now I have to carry around a nerdy inhaler.

Is this show over yet? I seriously have to pee like a race horse.

STOLEN CAR SCENE. Racing to the hospital to drop off creepy Cady. But oh, oh, oh, she’s awake now. Quel surprise. And she’s pulling the “I Cant Pee If You’re Watching” line which belonged to UK Anwar, and was hilarious. This is less hilarious. And now the car is going into the harbor. And no one notices? They were seriously moving in that car for a WHILE.

Now Stan and Tony are in bed together, and Stanley is still a virgin. Clearly, his life is over. AND SO IS THIS EPISODE!

I give this episode a solid C-. It was poorly acted and it was an exact replica of the UK original. I know that they are going to use their own original storylines as the show progresses, but it definitely made this episode less exciting for me to know exactly what was going to happen and to whom. Snoretown.

I’ll watch next week to see if it improves at all and I’ll report back.

Did any of you catch the MTV Premiere of Skins tonight? Will you continue to watch? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

[* – Okay, you caught me, I never went to house parties when I was 16.]

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 18, 2011 12:51 pm

    i could only handle five minutes. i WAS rooting for james milo newman, but then he sucked.

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